My LIFE Story - II

In my life every thing started quite late and not before many hurdles and deceptive obstructions and temptations that I had to overcome not by my courage or skill alone but some subtle force and invisible light that is better accepted as Pre-deatination.Just as what is invisibe to our 20/20 vision is visible with deeper vision, many things we often declare as absurd can happen as Natural events under cercumstances beyond our grsp and grip. In my life that approached at this stage some mturity , quite late. And myy love for knowledge and books was aso a late phenomena.. Up to matruculatuon ( standard X, I had no scope ,desire or luck to voyage with the journey of knowledge. that was the advantage or fault of Rural life and un-like Modern children and boys/girls , I was lucky. A few books realy moulded my ife more than any thing else . They are DATTWA by Sarat Chandra(bengai) to rarn writing story, Around the World in Eighty days by Jules verne, Oldman and the Sea by Hemmingway and in later ife ,- works of George Bernard shaw and Swami Vivekananda . they taught me in the art of telling & writing , guiding to anaise socia and mora values and now in my after-noon and evening ife.- Kathamrita, everything of EINSTEIN, the GEETA, UPanishats,and SAMHITAS (Post-vedic).
Coming back to real Life-stories I was a emotionnal boy when I shoud have been a man and when I was mouded into a man I had more to strugge about for my mere srttlement in economic word. and Quoting G.B.S, I dare say that I had no success in the world of Romance and love util I left my 30 yrs behind.
In my young days poverty or life of lower midde cass put stricture on my dreaming ventures and really speaking I was always cautious like a miser not to over-spend for any thing or anybody . So I wwas never a well-dressed smart boy . more over in my teen-age and twenties ,I was bony- slim and my Mongolian features more revealed. I was too much conscious of my limitation and so never dared to face any girl for friend-ship.In medical colege , when finally I was declared a smart , intelligent and talented, it was too late and with economic shakles ! Any way my failure s in romance helped me to build up myself to make-up and to catch up.
My marriage was neither a love-marriage nor a Social marriage but almost like a challenge to prove myself and my views and faith. and I was lucky otherwise.----------.
As already told before that I had my dream and choice but I dared not to approach the girl of Medical College, whom I liked admired and adoredand who also liked and admred me . But the class and economic gap was too deep to dare to abridge. It was ever a romantic dream.
After my marriage it was a battlle for building family -ife and also my romance wth Art & Literature i.e potry, Drama and other literary voyages etc. During my student life somr event tried to trap me by alluring me to life oflife of flesh but my genetic or inherent poise and ideas in life saved me from those very tricky trap and really, God, perhaps helped me..I personally deserve no credit for that except I was saved by Divine decision. Between 1995 & -96, I came from USA to Delhi far 2-3 month's change and went with SRI Aurobina -Ashram team to NAINITAL Yoga centre.There wee 300 to 400 disciples and tousists that asembled in the AShrsm on the top of the Hill with beautiful surroundings for Yoga Practices and Lectures,. Some one fell sick and his mother was very much nervous in un-known surroundings. There then I had the chance to show my professiona skill and the boy with pneumonia became alright in two days and I became amost famous and very popular. A very ,cultured, educated Lady,-(Teacher) UN-married & 40+ . slim and smart came closer to me gradually . She was a bengali and learned about my being a poet and a writer too. We talked and talked like friends . And one day wlile stroling together she tried to lead me to a very loney corner of the Ashram, do not no why . But my genetic or natural incapacity inspird me to make an excuse and escape.May be, she was not meaning any thing wrong and I was only aprehending non- existenet cumination . After that I tried to avoid her and on the third day we returned to Delhi , Of course she invited me to come to her place in South Cacutta but it never happened. I was aready nearing 60 and it is too much to try to be any anymore sportive and be desirable to any kind.