MY LIFE : [Pre-Medical College days ]

Sunday, May 8, 2011
My Life - Pre-Medical -College days
Yes ! it was like "A tale of Two cities ' - the book that i read long long after.{was a riural wild boy , ever happy with and within Nature and did not ,happily , respect books or care much for the Universe outside our 7-villages ( tne name of our school was - Sapta-gram Sammilani -i.e seven -village Unitutary school).Nor had means or infra-structure of modern learning and i am grateful to God for that.. Anyway and retracing back, it was the worst time and best time as told in that great book of Dickens . Worst in tha sense that every day, - some people of other side(region were being stabbed and killed or some nearby area(lower Circular road) burnt to ashes. Once Coming out on Harrison road (now Mahatma G. road) i saw a poor young man runining with his tummy slit out -open. . I was not afarid nor even in agony. It was almost a sadistic joy of all the pains and sense of loss for my the -then codition as a refugee boy. Of course I almost hated all religions and communal attitude later and as i grew. But I learnt that real suffering and up-rooting can turn any ordinary man into an animal. That was the worst time of Post-war famine and communal killing in Benagal as a whole ,inspite of joy of attaining freedom, the value of which could not reveal much in me, -then .
But my joy of personal freedom and experience of big City-life was also overwhelming. , More particulrly the wild -freedom and personal liberty of attending and entering my college-class any time i chose or leave the class in front of the professor generating some sense of pleasure in myself or taking the back -seak ,with like minded friends and join a musical short sesson ( the professor looking helplessly)and behind more than 150 strong students was the first taste of freedom that I really enjoyed in that late 1940s (1947-48) when whole of partitioned- Bengal was an open field of inferno , communal Killing , every week-Strikes and what not else. Every day attending the class we would wait, eagerly, for some 'slogan' of any party and our student- leader immediately stared his practice-session of political slogans and would lead us to the street to our utter joy. The professor looked helpless but was , perhaps not un-happy to be freed from unruly students-crowd , more than hundred in strength.
So it was really my first freedom from strict moral regime of rural life and the outcome was - that I could not fill up even a single copy-book in three months. ........
I was writing poetry by that time and one was even published in college Journal and my prof of Bengali & Maths. liked it( perhaps )! But I came to my senses when , one day, my prof of math . adressed me and asked - what will happen to my future , after I failed in I.sc exam. approaching and with my Ist divn , in Maticulation.......!
Already tthe second or final year was to its mid way .{We managed the promise through agitations and strikes that all students of the first year final must be promoted to second year and we made it happen through further agitatios and strikes.. So ,i was really a happy boy in my early second year without caring for my future and lot of liberty to scatter around.
I got the first shock and came to my senses that my father (had his business in Delhi)was determined to put me in Mediacal or Engineering line and my monthly exam score mark in ist quarterly (2nd yr. was beteen 30-40 % --any subject).
Afterwards in ife I heard and learnt about 'SATORI' of Zen -religion and in retrospect I feel that, that was my experience at that time in 1948-march .and I made some U -turn to save my face and father's pride from the advancing disaster waiting ahead and a year after, if I could not reverse.
Posted by Phani Basu at 10:12 PM 0 comments