AND FINALLY A CONFESSION : OVERDUE FOR LONG
[ Carrying the Self -inflicted wound for last 5 decades ] ===================================================================
It was late 1960-s and was new Delhi's ' Gole - Market ' Area .
And it was a the -then Vespa Scooter that I was driving from Pahar ganj to to Gole-Market crossing the Panch Quin road .
And I was a young Doctor[ M.B.B.S + M.D (1965)], too confident and even egoistic (80%). I kept my speed and crossed the road without caring for traffic rule and he as , laborer on his cycle and I hit his front heel..Luckily he fell down as I pressed hard on the break and stopped but I too fell down loosing balance and none of us was hurt badly !
But !- - - But I as a Doctor and he just a laborer, maybe or daily wager. He managed to get up be on his feet picking up his cycle and looked at me puzzled with hidden grudge .
I too pulled up my Vespa Scooter put it on its stand ,
Poeople around got collected and were mostly enjoying the scene and muttering .They did not know who was at fault !!
But I was a well-dressed young person with the Ego of a proud Doctor inside and I had to assert my personality and social status even tough I knew that it as fault was my fault , not his. But I had to prove my social status .
So , I approached the poor innocent fellow planted a slap on his cheek with some high abusing words in English . The poor fellow looked more nervous and fumbled out his innocence.
The on lookers were all enjoying the scene , and as a winner , I sat on my scooter and drove on to my place.
******* ******** ********* ***********
Now , since and for last 25 to 30 years after I read Dostoyevsky's " Crime and Punishment ", I have been carrying this 'heavy ' burden of my own GUILT without any chance to Trace that man and apologize . Yet whenever I meet a daily worker type of man on a cycle the scene comes back and haunts me .
Finally I am almost forced to record it here as a token of ' CONFESSION' to earn some consolation in the least !
==================================================================
* The Hitchcock film : ' I CONFESS' that I saw in my young days and some ' Rash- driving -incidence' involving some Bollywood film hero in later period of my life have some influencing effect in writing up this article .
_____________________________________________________________
[ Carrying the Self -inflicted wound for last 5 decades ] ===================================================================
It was late 1960-s and was new Delhi's ' Gole - Market ' Area .
And it was a the -then Vespa Scooter that I was driving from Pahar ganj to to Gole-Market crossing the Panch Quin road .
And I was a young Doctor[ M.B.B.S + M.D (1965)], too confident and even egoistic (80%). I kept my speed and crossed the road without caring for traffic rule and he as , laborer on his cycle and I hit his front heel..Luckily he fell down as I pressed hard on the break and stopped but I too fell down loosing balance and none of us was hurt badly !
But !- - - But I as a Doctor and he just a laborer, maybe or daily wager. He managed to get up be on his feet picking up his cycle and looked at me puzzled with hidden grudge .
I too pulled up my Vespa Scooter put it on its stand ,
Poeople around got collected and were mostly enjoying the scene and muttering .They did not know who was at fault !!
But I was a well-dressed young person with the Ego of a proud Doctor inside and I had to assert my personality and social status even tough I knew that it as fault was my fault , not his. But I had to prove my social status .
So , I approached the poor innocent fellow planted a slap on his cheek with some high abusing words in English . The poor fellow looked more nervous and fumbled out his innocence.
The on lookers were all enjoying the scene , and as a winner , I sat on my scooter and drove on to my place.
******* ******** ********* ***********
Now , since and for last 25 to 30 years after I read Dostoyevsky's " Crime and Punishment ", I have been carrying this 'heavy ' burden of my own GUILT without any chance to Trace that man and apologize . Yet whenever I meet a daily worker type of man on a cycle the scene comes back and haunts me .
Finally I am almost forced to record it here as a token of ' CONFESSION' to earn some consolation in the least !
==================================================================
* The Hitchcock film : ' I CONFESS' that I saw in my young days and some ' Rash- driving -incidence' involving some Bollywood film hero in later period of my life have some influencing effect in writing up this article .
_____________________________________________________________
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