EVENING LIFE
The golden rays or shine
from evening Sun
caressing the lake-side Autumn leaves
tell me so much of ---
the time-framed limits of life !
Th FalL
in yellow , grey or ccrimson robes
surrender , resign or renunciate
to ushering winter call !
Yet
I had so much to tell
or to talk about our time or love
while the fading evening sky
signals the dropping of curtain now
with a departing kiss
on lake-side drapes of coloured leaves ! ,
(October 15th, 2001 , U.S..A )
Monday, November 8, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
MUTE PATHOS :
(10/25/o1 ; in U.S.A )
The empty bench
on the wintry park
with darekening eve
like in greek pathos
suffereing alone
embracing void
with eager arms
and looking beyond
to vacant space !
Some volatile thoughts
enclosed in spiky rails
or lost memories
or time crucified - and
mummies of reminiscence !
yet some children play
or lovers walk the way
maybe the empty bench
can yet recall
some forgotten foot-steps
of by-gone days !
(10/25/o1 ; in U.S.A )
The empty bench
on the wintry park
with darekening eve
like in greek pathos
suffereing alone
embracing void
with eager arms
and looking beyond
to vacant space !
Some volatile thoughts
enclosed in spiky rails
or lost memories
or time crucified - and
mummies of reminiscence !
yet some children play
or lovers walk the way
maybe the empty bench
can yet recall
some forgotten foot-steps
of by-gone days !
PSYCHIC MOON OR TRANCE ? !
( An experience 0n 10/26/01 . while in U.S.A)
The cerulean space
on washed clean sky
the dazzling Autumn moon
like a gittering gem !
Is it beyond
our Solar space
or within me ;- or
is it a dream
or a trance !
But who is sure -
and, - I am not !
That moon is outside
or -- within me ?
Is it virtual
or mere mirrage !
Or the psychic moon ,
-within me
in my trance ! ?
The cerulean space
on washed clean sky
the dazzling Autumn moon
like a gittering gem !
Is it beyond
our Solar space
or within me ;- or
is it a dream
or a trance !
But who is sure -
and, - I am not !
That moon is outside
or -- within me ?
Is it virtual
or mere mirrage !
Or the psychic moon ,
-within me
in my trance ! ?
REVELATION : -I
(After Bible )
Seven churches of Asia
first born from the dead
seven Golden Lamp-stand
with luminous head
And he who has an ear
well ! - now, .let him hear:
One who overcomes
--won't be - hurt
by his second death
if soul is in the heart.
Each one will be repaid
according to his deed
And those who think , -they're alive
are . really, dead instead.
(Trans pi rated into verse on 10/06/01)
(After Bible )
Seven churches of Asia
first born from the dead
seven Golden Lamp-stand
with luminous head
And he who has an ear
well ! - now, .let him hear:
One who overcomes
--won't be - hurt
by his second death
if soul is in the heart.
Each one will be repaid
according to his deed
And those who think , -they're alive
are . really, dead instead.
(Trans pi rated into verse on 10/06/01)
Friday, November 5, 2010
STRAY THOUGHTS
In creative thought process, words sometimes seem to be so incomplete or defective in constructive process. Word are always or mostly built up on Mental level by intellectual participation depending on Individual capacity.
Only chosen people with highest intellectual capacity or men of Genius -level usualy coin their right words, naturally, in expressing their thoughts.
At poetic level ,most often , it is found that no words are good enough to hold or carry the real feeling or meaning that a poet has experienced or is stil bearing up within his soul. As such, real poets feel , often, so much defeated in their feeling of recording what he wanted to say in the end in their expresive thought-process!.
Only chosen people with highest intellectual capacity or men of Genius -level usualy coin their right words, naturally, in expressing their thoughts.
At poetic level ,most often , it is found that no words are good enough to hold or carry the real feeling or meaning that a poet has experienced or is stil bearing up within his soul. As such, real poets feel , often, so much defeated in their feeling of recording what he wanted to say in the end in their expresive thought-process!.
MY RELIGION
To me, Reigion is the way a conscious person with evolving awareness practises what he believes and lives and reacts to social environments around him with out harming anyones living conditions or faith for sefih gain..
Reigion , to me, is not a mere socio-political Identity or an external event on a 'declaration form'. It is an inner poise of our faith and behaviour, in harmanony with Unitary sense of Existense and living.
Reigion , to me, is not a mere socio-political Identity or an external event on a 'declaration form'. It is an inner poise of our faith and behaviour, in harmanony with Unitary sense of Existense and living.
SCIENCE VS RELIGION
To me religion can be as much scientific with rationaistic approach, as science can be as much like religious faith to a a man who believes in it and adapts it with total devotion. Divisional out-look can harm Science equally as much as sectarian outlook can harm religion.
=======================================================
As I have not yet come across any german eectricity or chinese carbondi-oxide or American photon but they have the singular identity of Global acceptance, the same way and to me there is no different Arabic allaah or British God or Indian Ishwara unless they are the same Single identity of variable linguistic notations.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++==
As Einstein told ( Out of my Later years) that 'Science can only tell us about What is but not what should be ', -- objective varification on perceptual and intellectual Field may be Science but 'there are more things in heaven and earth' and there may be more 'something' beyond 'Plank's unit' wich is not even an objective proof but a mathematical Concept.
If Dirac's 'Nothingness' is also science, then why 'something' beyond nothingnes can not be 'religion' too !
=======================================================
As I have not yet come across any german eectricity or chinese carbondi-oxide or American photon but they have the singular identity of Global acceptance, the same way and to me there is no different Arabic allaah or British God or Indian Ishwara unless they are the same Single identity of variable linguistic notations.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++==
As Einstein told ( Out of my Later years) that 'Science can only tell us about What is but not what should be ', -- objective varification on perceptual and intellectual Field may be Science but 'there are more things in heaven and earth' and there may be more 'something' beyond 'Plank's unit' wich is not even an objective proof but a mathematical Concept.
If Dirac's 'Nothingness' is also science, then why 'something' beyond nothingnes can not be 'religion' too !
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
MY POEM
The word is not all
neither too little for conscious play.
The way a seed becomes the - root
and brances crawl and climb the sky
to become- the flowering bud -like you
and frangrace float - our conscous form .
(my poem - ----- composed on the page -now )
neither too little for conscious play.
The way a seed becomes the - root
and brances crawl and climb the sky
to become- the flowering bud -like you
and frangrace float - our conscous form .
(my poem - ----- composed on the page -now )
Friday, October 29, 2010
CRAZY THOUGHTS !
So often, so many crazy thoughts buble up in my mind that I feel, so much, sujectivly confused.... The other day I was thinking, -if I got selected for Heaven next life, how it would be my next life there.
I was in U.S.A for about sixteen years and had been in Washinton DC several times. Everyone is neither invited nor allowed in PREIDENT'S HOUSE (even if you are a U.S.A -Citizen) Or, even if you live in there. In Washington DC, there are other places including 'DOWN TOWN' and other areas too and they are not deserted places but full of residents.
So, I was thinking or was trying to guess the space I would be alloted if I get a selection - grade for my next posting, in heaven. Maybe , I have to find it out from GOOGLE,com , the pattern of Heaven!
I was in U.S.A for about sixteen years and had been in Washinton DC several times. Everyone is neither invited nor allowed in PREIDENT'S HOUSE (even if you are a U.S.A -Citizen) Or, even if you live in there. In Washington DC, there are other places including 'DOWN TOWN' and other areas too and they are not deserted places but full of residents.
So, I was thinking or was trying to guess the space I would be alloted if I get a selection - grade for my next posting, in heaven. Maybe , I have to find it out from GOOGLE,com , the pattern of Heaven!
Monday, October 25, 2010
MY POEM
YOU
(From Album of International Poets)
Like well- conceived plot of a play
harmoniously knit
if I could get ,only,- a few moments
strung into a wreath !
scarecely have I said this to my mind ---
when, - you step in
dressed in gorgeous red and gold
bringing with you
the aroma of the summer eve
now cooling down !
The Earth is not a watermelon --juicy
we have gathered this from our experiences past
never-the less somewhere deep in you
there is a softness balmy offering solace
And if I chance to laugh it away
and call it an effect of
skilful setting of nerves
the dicovery of sciece ---
You cut short my loquacity'
As it grows darker
the stars shine brighter
and the vast void reveals the Cosmic wonder
of the Universe !
This perception alone is a fountain-head
of many a melodious tune ---when
dressed in gorgeous red and gold
you step in
bringing with you the redolence sweet
0f evening serene
and sit by me with an air of intimacy
eager to communicate.
(Translated from the Bengali poem of Phani Basu
by Umanath Bhattacharya)
( First Edition. 1981
Tagore Institute of Creative writing International, Madras-600090, India.)
(From Album of International Poets)
Like well- conceived plot of a play
harmoniously knit
if I could get ,only,- a few moments
strung into a wreath !
scarecely have I said this to my mind ---
when, - you step in
dressed in gorgeous red and gold
bringing with you
the aroma of the summer eve
now cooling down !
The Earth is not a watermelon --juicy
we have gathered this from our experiences past
never-the less somewhere deep in you
there is a softness balmy offering solace
And if I chance to laugh it away
and call it an effect of
skilful setting of nerves
the dicovery of sciece ---
You cut short my loquacity'
As it grows darker
the stars shine brighter
and the vast void reveals the Cosmic wonder
of the Universe !
This perception alone is a fountain-head
of many a melodious tune ---when
dressed in gorgeous red and gold
you step in
bringing with you the redolence sweet
0f evening serene
and sit by me with an air of intimacy
eager to communicate.
(Translated from the Bengali poem of Phani Basu
by Umanath Bhattacharya)
( First Edition. 1981
Tagore Institute of Creative writing International, Madras-600090, India.)
TRANSPOSITION
Once I had endless desires and no means
To day I have enough wealth yet very few desires
even though, within my reach, to fullfil !
To day I have enough wealth yet very few desires
even though, within my reach, to fullfil !
Sunday, October 24, 2010
REMINISCENCE II
In those early days of my youthand doing house job in Irwin hospital, with my rural back ground and un-smart poise to be-friend smrt colleagues of mine and often shy before nurses , I woud run back to Gole Market and spend hours in great Eastern Stores on a corner of the counter observing and admiring the way Raj baalv kept even the high Executive clients charmed with his gifted taent of public -speaking. And I was even jeaous !, I was very good in righting , even engish, but as in student ife had no chance in sharpening my oratorial capacity, i was a tongue tied boy by any standard, And this Rajbalav , to my joyous surprise , was so fluent and without even a school certificate and coud speat i hindi , punjabi , Engish (without respecting Gramatical discipline) and keep them ever so magnetised that even deputy secretaries of those would seek only him for their purchase deal. Whie I , a medica graduate and a proud house surgeon of a top Delhi Hospita even used to fumbe and stamer before the bus-coductor in seecting and arranging my expression in hindi or even in English when the conductor fired on english words, all wrong , or hindi/ punjabi which were even, more 'greek' to me.
I come back to my Rajballav Mama again He had a shortthick feature , squreface, very fare and handsome face but when he fced you and smiled broad, I think even and enemy panning to hurt him would drop his weapon and embrace him. That was the personality of RAJBALLAV and I wish so much that he was even now with us or at least me.
I come back to my Rajballav Mama again He had a shortthick feature , squreface, very fare and handsome face but when he fced you and smiled broad, I think even and enemy panning to hurt him would drop his weapon and embrace him. That was the personality of RAJBALLAV and I wish so much that he was even now with us or at least me.
OTHER PIECES FROM MY YOUNG LIFE
Tod enough times of my romantic dreams and growing 'waves' of my young life. But the tale is not well framed til I frame the tale about 'Rajbalav' whom I shall introduce here as 'Mama'( Maternal unce0. No - he was not reated to me in any social connection.He was just a sales-man in a shop - GreatEasten Stores - oanLady Hadinge road , Gole Market, New dehi and I was living in Basu Boarding House , just opposite the shop , in those days between 1955 & 1960, during my house job in IRWIN HOSPITAL and subsequent fob as a Gazetted Medical officer under DELHI Administration.
I can not foget Rajballav - Mama and I shall not. I am now an octogenarian and have not seen ony one,( even flying manytimes to U.S.A and visiting even RUSSIA (Old USSR)and even becoming an U.S.A Citizen) who could smie so brad , asif his heart was dancing between is lips, and winning over even his worst client on the counter.
He was about 5-6 yrs older than me and yet my ony friend , those days. He was marrid and i so oftened accompanied him to his rented space in Pahar ganj . he had his old mother with him and she loved me as if I was her son too in this or some other birth. Mami -(eajballav's wife was a sweet hearted ady without any school certificate but carying abundant inherited culture to match any modern up-growth.Theirs was the real home for me foe those 4-5 years when I was the loney person in my father's Boarding house and away from my root( my mother and and sibing0and aso unmarried. But I shall need more space to tel about this Rajbalave Mama(contd)
I can not foget Rajballav - Mama and I shall not. I am now an octogenarian and have not seen ony one,( even flying manytimes to U.S.A and visiting even RUSSIA (Old USSR)and even becoming an U.S.A Citizen) who could smie so brad , asif his heart was dancing between is lips, and winning over even his worst client on the counter.
He was about 5-6 yrs older than me and yet my ony friend , those days. He was marrid and i so oftened accompanied him to his rented space in Pahar ganj . he had his old mother with him and she loved me as if I was her son too in this or some other birth. Mami -(eajballav's wife was a sweet hearted ady without any school certificate but carying abundant inherited culture to match any modern up-growth.Theirs was the real home for me foe those 4-5 years when I was the loney person in my father's Boarding house and away from my root( my mother and and sibing0and aso unmarried. But I shall need more space to tel about this Rajbalave Mama(contd)
CRAZY THOUGHTS !
THOUGHTS HAUNTING ME :
Thoughts haunting me for long ! Maybe, they are crazy thoughts but they haunt me so frequently that I coud not stop recording them now .
Does the GRAND DESIGNER have a Belly - Button ? Maybe only Stephen Hawking has the answer locked inside his huge brain. Or maybe, even , he does not know it . It is even beyond Giant Computer 's lock & Key !
Next is , - while in U.S.A and approaching the Statue Of Liberty, more than once during my long long iving there , I was always wondering - looking at that huge Statue , is ' Liberty' also a female or male or something otherwise ? Since I have been brooding over it and now , I think, I must surf GOOGlE, sometimes and find out the story of this 'Master- Buiding' and trace the root from the Artist or Builder.
Of course Crazy thoughts can germinate anywhen from anywhere.
Thoughts haunting me for long ! Maybe, they are crazy thoughts but they haunt me so frequently that I coud not stop recording them now .
Does the GRAND DESIGNER have a Belly - Button ? Maybe only Stephen Hawking has the answer locked inside his huge brain. Or maybe, even , he does not know it . It is even beyond Giant Computer 's lock & Key !
Next is , - while in U.S.A and approaching the Statue Of Liberty, more than once during my long long iving there , I was always wondering - looking at that huge Statue , is ' Liberty' also a female or male or something otherwise ? Since I have been brooding over it and now , I think, I must surf GOOGlE, sometimes and find out the story of this 'Master- Buiding' and trace the root from the Artist or Builder.
Of course Crazy thoughts can germinate anywhen from anywhere.
LOSS AND GAIN & THE ROOT !
( Theory of Back -ground Relativity)
Some where I read it . Wish I could remember the source. The event is like as folows :
A mother with her teen -age daughter went to sea-beach on western coast of U.S.A (maybe, Los angeles).... A kiler Shark came and took the girl in her Jaw .... An ameteur Photographer happened , just then on the spot, took a smart shot of the event and CNN bought the Picture from the Photographer for a milion dolars . .....
Now it so happened both,- the victims of that event and the lucky photographer lived on the same Sky -scrpper building , one foor above the other. Within a week , while the mother was mourning the loss of her daughter on the lowere floor , the young photographer was celebrating a grand party of winning a milion dollar for his rare feat on the upper floor with great illumination and festive party. And yet both the events had the single root - the tragic Death of a girl !.....
Resting on the bank of the river Ganges in Konnagar of Bengal, with the waves dancing near and far , this event just jumped in on my mind - don't know how or why !
Some where I read it . Wish I could remember the source. The event is like as folows :
A mother with her teen -age daughter went to sea-beach on western coast of U.S.A (maybe, Los angeles).... A kiler Shark came and took the girl in her Jaw .... An ameteur Photographer happened , just then on the spot, took a smart shot of the event and CNN bought the Picture from the Photographer for a milion dolars . .....
Now it so happened both,- the victims of that event and the lucky photographer lived on the same Sky -scrpper building , one foor above the other. Within a week , while the mother was mourning the loss of her daughter on the lowere floor , the young photographer was celebrating a grand party of winning a milion dollar for his rare feat on the upper floor with great illumination and festive party. And yet both the events had the single root - the tragic Death of a girl !.....
Resting on the bank of the river Ganges in Konnagar of Bengal, with the waves dancing near and far , this event just jumped in on my mind - don't know how or why !
MY HAPPIEST CREATIVE JOY ! _II
Next part I shall rather offer to my readers through his( Umanath Bhattacharya )own published article, afterwards.
" Of Phani Basu. I confess, I had no knowledge at all. Who was he, what he was, what place he hails from-indeed all information about the man and his whereabouts was , until the other day . unknown to me..
Then happened the historic event.One fine morning in october 1977 after finishing the translation pf a poem of phani Basu that appeared in the Puja number of 'Samayanug' of the year I was absorbed in reciting it with verve as was my wont, when to my pleasant surprise,, Sri Deb Kumar Basu, the Editor of SAMAYNUG and the head of the well known publishing House , Vishwa Jnyan,Calcutta, stepped in and announced himsef. with him ws a gentleman with soft feature and an artistic aroma about him.When Debkumar introduced his com panion as his friend named Dr. Phani Basu M.D., I jumped to my feet with excitement and exclaimed - is he by any chance a poet also ?"
As my editor friend nodded affirmativey and the poet looked on, I spread before his view the transation of a romantic piece of his " Ami - Tari - Pakhi'( I am her bird) just completed and the ink was not dry til then. Presently ,I embraced him warmy and called him brother poet.
The effect ws tremendously dramatic.Whoever dreamt that the poet would come and grace my study and discover his own poem translated on that very hour of the historic day of uur first meeting ?"
By Umanath Bhattacharya, ; S-V 49, R.K. Puram, New Dehi -110 -022 ( Published in a Local Brochure).( Concluded)
" Of Phani Basu. I confess, I had no knowledge at all. Who was he, what he was, what place he hails from-indeed all information about the man and his whereabouts was , until the other day . unknown to me..
Then happened the historic event.One fine morning in october 1977 after finishing the translation pf a poem of phani Basu that appeared in the Puja number of 'Samayanug' of the year I was absorbed in reciting it with verve as was my wont, when to my pleasant surprise,, Sri Deb Kumar Basu, the Editor of SAMAYNUG and the head of the well known publishing House , Vishwa Jnyan,Calcutta, stepped in and announced himsef. with him ws a gentleman with soft feature and an artistic aroma about him.When Debkumar introduced his com panion as his friend named Dr. Phani Basu M.D., I jumped to my feet with excitement and exclaimed - is he by any chance a poet also ?"
As my editor friend nodded affirmativey and the poet looked on, I spread before his view the transation of a romantic piece of his " Ami - Tari - Pakhi'( I am her bird) just completed and the ink was not dry til then. Presently ,I embraced him warmy and called him brother poet.
The effect ws tremendously dramatic.Whoever dreamt that the poet would come and grace my study and discover his own poem translated on that very hour of the historic day of uur first meeting ?"
By Umanath Bhattacharya, ; S-V 49, R.K. Puram, New Dehi -110 -022 ( Published in a Local Brochure).( Concluded)
Saturday, October 23, 2010
MY HAPPIEST CREATIVE JOY
MY THOUGHTS MY POEMS : REMINISCENCE
It was !978 I was persuing my profession in medical service as a Specialist in Safgarjaang Hospita, Dehi and also my passion , like addiction in ppetry and Visua Art ( Waste-wood Scupture ) almost with same intensity.
then on day my friend and pubisher , Debkumar Basu of Vishwajnyan, Cacutta came and requested my company for a vist certain schoar and Write Umanath Bhattacharya )r and I agreed . We both , in my car , droved to Ramakrishnapuram Sector -v and his flat . On the way , Debkumar tod me a lot about him and that he was a self-made scolar in Sanakrit, Bengai , Engish and a poet too(in Engish) and one of the two best translator of Indian literature into Engish ( the other one ila Roy. As until then i had noe of my poems transated and I did not Know .
Deb kumar stroked on the woodwn door and adding up his characteristic Voice -Keu aachhen "( is there any body). Aand the door opened by a tall , slim , sharp-featured brahmin( he was bare above the waste an the sared thred betraying his high caste was evident. We were welcomed in cordialy .On the foor there was a matress spread out with ots of fuulscap papers and some of them filed up in writing. two or three pens were waiting around. HAfter requesting us to take our seats on the wooden cot , he made himsef seated in the matress and both the grand old man ( he was 78 yrs then) and Debkumar , my pubisher exchanged wecome greeting and a few other words .Now my pubisher took the oppotunity to introduce me to him teing - Sir, meet My friend Dr. P. Basu who brought me to you. I was all thetime scanning this old man-scholar. his eyes and look was so sharp ( wasnot wearing any gass) and with Socrtic simplicity and some magnaetic aura around him. He was aso studying my feature and told ' you are Dr, Basu of Delhi ? then you may not be. I learnt about one Basu of Delhi -- then suddeny he asked " your full name please. " Phani Basu ' - i replied. and he amist jumped up disobeying his age and chalenge 'you write Poetry..... A the time deb kumar , in his characteristic way ( he was once an actor and disciple of SHiSHIR BHADURY) was lauging soft and told me - Phani Dhara poret gachho ( Phani you are caught). I took the opportunity and admitted that i was that phani basu who writes poems too' . He came forward and embraced me and sang out loud - ' it must be providence ! My ord ! . See I was just transating one of your poems from a Calcutta periodica and see, the ink is not even dry."
Suddenly I was , as if ifted to a higher pane and was almost foating. Can it bre true ? can it be real ! that I have been trans ported to a plane where a an od Scolarly gentleman, amost 30 years older and wiser than me and whom i have never known or seen before , was translating my poem , hust when i was there. I sttod almost motion less and without breath for sone seconds and with foded hands saluted him and felt as if , even Rabindranath would have envied my good uck and the reward I received. (contd)
It was !978 I was persuing my profession in medical service as a Specialist in Safgarjaang Hospita, Dehi and also my passion , like addiction in ppetry and Visua Art ( Waste-wood Scupture ) almost with same intensity.
then on day my friend and pubisher , Debkumar Basu of Vishwajnyan, Cacutta came and requested my company for a vist certain schoar and Write Umanath Bhattacharya )r and I agreed . We both , in my car , droved to Ramakrishnapuram Sector -v and his flat . On the way , Debkumar tod me a lot about him and that he was a self-made scolar in Sanakrit, Bengai , Engish and a poet too(in Engish) and one of the two best translator of Indian literature into Engish ( the other one ila Roy. As until then i had noe of my poems transated and I did not Know .
Deb kumar stroked on the woodwn door and adding up his characteristic Voice -Keu aachhen "( is there any body). Aand the door opened by a tall , slim , sharp-featured brahmin( he was bare above the waste an the sared thred betraying his high caste was evident. We were welcomed in cordialy .On the foor there was a matress spread out with ots of fuulscap papers and some of them filed up in writing. two or three pens were waiting around. HAfter requesting us to take our seats on the wooden cot , he made himsef seated in the matress and both the grand old man ( he was 78 yrs then) and Debkumar , my pubisher exchanged wecome greeting and a few other words .Now my pubisher took the oppotunity to introduce me to him teing - Sir, meet My friend Dr. P. Basu who brought me to you. I was all thetime scanning this old man-scholar. his eyes and look was so sharp ( wasnot wearing any gass) and with Socrtic simplicity and some magnaetic aura around him. He was aso studying my feature and told ' you are Dr, Basu of Delhi ? then you may not be. I learnt about one Basu of Delhi -- then suddeny he asked " your full name please. " Phani Basu ' - i replied. and he amist jumped up disobeying his age and chalenge 'you write Poetry..... A the time deb kumar , in his characteristic way ( he was once an actor and disciple of SHiSHIR BHADURY) was lauging soft and told me - Phani Dhara poret gachho ( Phani you are caught). I took the opportunity and admitted that i was that phani basu who writes poems too' . He came forward and embraced me and sang out loud - ' it must be providence ! My ord ! . See I was just transating one of your poems from a Calcutta periodica and see, the ink is not even dry."
Suddenly I was , as if ifted to a higher pane and was almost foating. Can it bre true ? can it be real ! that I have been trans ported to a plane where a an od Scolarly gentleman, amost 30 years older and wiser than me and whom i have never known or seen before , was translating my poem , hust when i was there. I sttod almost motion less and without breath for sone seconds and with foded hands saluted him and felt as if , even Rabindranath would have envied my good uck and the reward I received. (contd)
Friday, October 22, 2010
REMINISCENCE ( AUTOBIOGRAPHY)
DON"T NO WHY ? Don't know why God chose me for giving a good memory ! Really I don't know . ! But even to day at the age of past 80 I can rememeber events , or almost visualise them as if they happenened yesterday. As if I am covering 'SPACE-TIME' in ' Time Machine " of H.G Wells. Now I am in Konnagar of West Bengal, and residing on a flat on the very bank of hoogly river , as if, the Divine has retrieved my chid -hood dream .Even more, the memory of Medical College -life is reconstructed by pre-destination and the fact that one of my college mate is the owner of the land where I have taken my shelter( won't betray her name -without sanction0). Any way ,the reminiscence begin from here. Almost a year back this colege-mate held a re-union of her classmates( she is one year junior to me) and I was also invited .I enjoyed the party and they liked my presence and also homoured by visiting the Art-Gallery of mine ( My Art Works ) on the same building.
Now in my earlier memoir (Autobiography ) I told about my boy -hood dream and of the girl - (some Dutta Roy) whom I qualified as the ' Queen-Bee" of the college and my Cinderella -dreams.As by pre-destination Jyoti of tteir grpup, who is now in Canada and who came to India and honoured this get-together , told me that -Dutta roy was now in Hyedrabad and he was going to visit her this time. Like some 'dimensional -jump' and time Machine -Play the whole picture of my college life 'played back' on the mental Screen. With all regards for Mark Twain, I have aready admitted in my early depiction.. But before I voyage to my next experience, I just give a quick similie from the great short story of Maupassant : There the dreamer boy , dreaming of his earler love (with seperation and loss of many years )- re-visited the villege to meet the loved-one , found a fat lady driving her herd of sheeps , identified her to be her Dream- girl and then managed to jump back to the waiting train without betraying his own indentity to the fat lady ( his one-time lover).
My Experience in life almost matched this great writer's story in another way: After being told about this 'Queen-bee' ( I was given her Mobile number even) , one day I dialed her number and got her on the Phone. I was still carrying my Cinderela -memory within and her wish of learning drawing from me.. I was so sure that my name and face must me dazzling bright in her memory. On phone she was very nice and polite and as sweet in her manners as before . But, oh Lord ! she could neither remember my name nor the identity of that famous Artist ( my self) of Pibis's Weekly -fame ! ( I was lost to her like a dropped bus-ticket). I felt Crest fallen ! So sure was I about my bright image and shining self in her mind , if not life ! Now it was a real ' Reaity - Show' - that day! I with my vivid memory of those days tried to Console mysef that with almost 80 yrs on her shoulder she must be like an 'Alzhimer' now ( and with more than 80 yrs I was still carrying the old bag of boy-hood memory !. Any way , thetalk on telephone stopped soon with ritualistic 'Thanks' and the shocking gap of a gulf-time , ever widening. I now think, Maupassan t would have envied my experience and would have liked to be born again to write another short story for the World .
Now in my earlier memoir (Autobiography ) I told about my boy -hood dream and of the girl - (some Dutta Roy) whom I qualified as the ' Queen-Bee" of the college and my Cinderella -dreams.As by pre-destination Jyoti of tteir grpup, who is now in Canada and who came to India and honoured this get-together , told me that -Dutta roy was now in Hyedrabad and he was going to visit her this time. Like some 'dimensional -jump' and time Machine -Play the whole picture of my college life 'played back' on the mental Screen. With all regards for Mark Twain, I have aready admitted in my early depiction.. But before I voyage to my next experience, I just give a quick similie from the great short story of Maupassant : There the dreamer boy , dreaming of his earler love (with seperation and loss of many years )- re-visited the villege to meet the loved-one , found a fat lady driving her herd of sheeps , identified her to be her Dream- girl and then managed to jump back to the waiting train without betraying his own indentity to the fat lady ( his one-time lover).
My Experience in life almost matched this great writer's story in another way: After being told about this 'Queen-bee' ( I was given her Mobile number even) , one day I dialed her number and got her on the Phone. I was still carrying my Cinderela -memory within and her wish of learning drawing from me.. I was so sure that my name and face must me dazzling bright in her memory. On phone she was very nice and polite and as sweet in her manners as before . But, oh Lord ! she could neither remember my name nor the identity of that famous Artist ( my self) of Pibis's Weekly -fame ! ( I was lost to her like a dropped bus-ticket). I felt Crest fallen ! So sure was I about my bright image and shining self in her mind , if not life ! Now it was a real ' Reaity - Show' - that day! I with my vivid memory of those days tried to Console mysef that with almost 80 yrs on her shoulder she must be like an 'Alzhimer' now ( and with more than 80 yrs I was still carrying the old bag of boy-hood memory !. Any way , thetalk on telephone stopped soon with ritualistic 'Thanks' and the shocking gap of a gulf-time , ever widening. I now think, Maupassan t would have envied my experience and would have liked to be born again to write another short story for the World .
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
MY THOUGHTS IN RETROSPECT
" THE PARENTS were once born as Chilidren
the chidren ,in return, then parents -are
Neither the children are greater than Parens
nor the Parents better than their children, -were."
( From the Mytologic PLAY - 'JAJATI ' by Parashar [ Phani Basu ; written and staged in 1965,on New Delhi Kali Bari Stage)
the chidren ,in return, then parents -are
Neither the children are greater than Parens
nor the Parents better than their children, -were."
( From the Mytologic PLAY - 'JAJATI ' by Parashar [ Phani Basu ; written and staged in 1965,on New Delhi Kali Bari Stage)
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
THE BUBLE THOUGHTS
If this Baby Or Adult Civillisation ( or whatever it claims itself to be) can discover the 'Recycling' process which is an In-built Quality of NATURE since the onset of this BIG-BANG ( our Universe is only a sibling of myriad Bangs) then , -I repeat - then, why the First DESIGNER or DIVINE could not INDUCE the process of 'RE-INCARNATION' in the LIVING-PROCESS of CONSCIOUS BIOOGICAL UNIVERSE ?
Of course , As my teacher ( in Medical College) taught in his unique way that ; 'Common sense is the Rarest Sense and never so common, nost often ,even, amongst Scholars and Scientists'.
Of course , As my teacher ( in Medical College) taught in his unique way that ; 'Common sense is the Rarest Sense and never so common, nost often ,even, amongst Scholars and Scientists'.
TO ABDULLAH
In the field of Duality
Sun makes the Night
and shadows too
as objects are too, the product of SUN
or energy frozen from lazy light.
The stars and the SUN
all children of CONSCIOUS LIGHT
not to be seen but to be Known
which is the ONE
may give any name
it matters - not .
Sun makes the Night
and shadows too
as objects are too, the product of SUN
or energy frozen from lazy light.
The stars and the SUN
all children of CONSCIOUS LIGHT
not to be seen but to be Known
which is the ONE
may give any name
it matters - not .
Saturday, October 16, 2010
BUTTERFLY
TRAPPED COCOON
I siffocate myself and almost swoon
trapped within -the wretched cocoon !
This salivating hope of silky dream
this desire ,lust or growing greed
and sticky froth or cementing seal
has encaged me whole and within !
I must decide now -even if late
discriminate here,- sharp and smart
try to come out of en-trapped state
to free finally my soul and heart
Trapped in cocoon the butterfly cry
for cerulean sky and wants to fly.
(october 14, 1996)
I siffocate myself and almost swoon
trapped within -the wretched cocoon !
This salivating hope of silky dream
this desire ,lust or growing greed
and sticky froth or cementing seal
has encaged me whole and within !
I must decide now -even if late
discriminate here,- sharp and smart
try to come out of en-trapped state
to free finally my soul and heart
Trapped in cocoon the butterfly cry
for cerulean sky and wants to fly.
(october 14, 1996)
Saturday, October 9, 2010
FAULTS IN A GENIUS
That is the fault in Great Genius ! I mean , though they may be as ordinary as ourselves in some of or most most other fields of Material living , yet in their own special Field, they are in-capable of committing mistakes 99 percent times out of hundred .Take the case of the puzzling Genius of EINSTEIN himself. In his early life he had to work in a patent office and could not get selected for a little better post (know from his own writings ). He could not even manage a happy family life and had a divorce to his record in married ife.
Yet and even when he had to admit and later, he declared his 'Cosmological Constant' as the' biggest Blunder ' in his life , that same 'blunder' was re-discovered by later Scientific World, as the Biggest Truth to meet the Cosmoogical 'Revelations' of later Time.
That is why I feel confident when i say that the fault of Great genius is that they usually can not even commit ordinary mistakes in their own field of SEARCH . Just as we , the ordinary people are in-capable of being correct in our rotine works without ,many times, being wrong !
Yet and even when he had to admit and later, he declared his 'Cosmological Constant' as the' biggest Blunder ' in his life , that same 'blunder' was re-discovered by later Scientific World, as the Biggest Truth to meet the Cosmoogical 'Revelations' of later Time.
That is why I feel confident when i say that the fault of Great genius is that they usually can not even commit ordinary mistakes in their own field of SEARCH . Just as we , the ordinary people are in-capable of being correct in our rotine works without ,many times, being wrong !
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
AUTOBIOGRAPHY - XXVIII
So , now it was like a 'twice -born life of Hindu -faith in brahmin family'. And I was so busy in building my image that I neglected my studies and skipped the second year final exam., which I cleared in my next chance i.e six months after.
I shall never forget my Five year M,B.B.S -course life.When I found that coming from a rural set up I lagged so much behind in so many fields like communications and debating power in english , smartness, general knowledge etc and etc I picked up these lines of studies. Famous College-street Book shops were within my walking distance and I started buying old books of my choice , very cheap, to keep me up to the modern smart level of the time. I even soid my blood in 'Blood Bank'of the college, a few times, to get me smartly dressed.
A girl (- Dutta ROY) one year junior to me was the queen- bee of medical college at my time and though she was my dream-girl , she was too smart , too modern and too high in standard and financial level. Mine was only a dream. Once it so happened that we were returning home in 2B Bus( she to Balygunge and my home in Dhakuria).She was sitting on Ladies seat and I was hanging by holding a supporting rod with a load of books/ note bookes . she smiled at me asked for my books to help and I felt,- as if Heaven was not far fron=m my reach ! Soon a seat by her side became vacant and she invited me to seat by her side. The village boy's day-dreaming was full-filled by heaven's approval that day...! Next it happened when I passed my M.B.B.S Exam., was an Intern and we together on duty at Causulty Deptt. She wanted me to teach I.V injection and what more could I ask for in life! But it was the real dream fullfiled when she asked me - how did I learn drawing pictures so good ! and wanted me to teach her drawing sketches . ....!
So, heaven fullfilled my last dream , even! I knew we could never be friends because her smartness and financial status-differrence was too wide for me to close up and I never tried any further. And in six months, I completed my Internship and joined my House-job in IRWIN HOSPITAl , DELHI. and we never saw each other ever since . Maybe, she wont even recognise me if we meet again.And that is what is called - LIFE.
Yes ! thus was my life of child -hood and young days untill 1955 and I was now a young man of 24 or 25 yrs of age , -Young and aspiring to reach some stable base.
I shall never forget my Five year M,B.B.S -course life.When I found that coming from a rural set up I lagged so much behind in so many fields like communications and debating power in english , smartness, general knowledge etc and etc I picked up these lines of studies. Famous College-street Book shops were within my walking distance and I started buying old books of my choice , very cheap, to keep me up to the modern smart level of the time. I even soid my blood in 'Blood Bank'of the college, a few times, to get me smartly dressed.
A girl (- Dutta ROY) one year junior to me was the queen- bee of medical college at my time and though she was my dream-girl , she was too smart , too modern and too high in standard and financial level. Mine was only a dream. Once it so happened that we were returning home in 2B Bus( she to Balygunge and my home in Dhakuria).She was sitting on Ladies seat and I was hanging by holding a supporting rod with a load of books/ note bookes . she smiled at me asked for my books to help and I felt,- as if Heaven was not far fron=m my reach ! Soon a seat by her side became vacant and she invited me to seat by her side. The village boy's day-dreaming was full-filled by heaven's approval that day...! Next it happened when I passed my M.B.B.S Exam., was an Intern and we together on duty at Causulty Deptt. She wanted me to teach I.V injection and what more could I ask for in life! But it was the real dream fullfiled when she asked me - how did I learn drawing pictures so good ! and wanted me to teach her drawing sketches . ....!
So, heaven fullfilled my last dream , even! I knew we could never be friends because her smartness and financial status-differrence was too wide for me to close up and I never tried any further. And in six months, I completed my Internship and joined my House-job in IRWIN HOSPITAl , DELHI. and we never saw each other ever since . Maybe, she wont even recognise me if we meet again.And that is what is called - LIFE.
Yes ! thus was my life of child -hood and young days untill 1955 and I was now a young man of 24 or 25 yrs of age , -Young and aspiring to reach some stable base.
AUTOBIOGRAPHY : FIRST ROUND XXVII
So ,ow I was , by my social standard & the standard of 1949 -Cal cutta , a bright boy; 17-18 yrs of age, and a student of Medical College Calcutta . The front- face pillars of the College building matched,even, the Governors House and I was feeling different with some inflated ego. For the last one year, after I made my promise to improve , I joined physical training in UNIVERSITY INSTITUTE of College Square area, under Monotosh Roy and I was no more that sick & thin boy but a better built standard sized ( ISI )youth . I was openly elated to feel that now I could meet rich and smart Class of Cacutta in my college . All along, before, I never wore a 'English-cut' full pants and was dreaming for my first smart dress. But the dampening effect came when my father took me to a tailor and got me in a pair of khaki-pants ( police type, -of those days). . Any one can well imagine the expression on my face, in that out-fit! I would steal my entry in the class after all the boys and girls were in.. Soon ,in three -four months , I managed to keep up my face and then, the Professor of Anatomy , forced me to believe in mysef by the brilliance of his lecture , so much that neither dress nor length of Degree at the end of a name was important in real- life-story. And he was only M,B,(of his days). The way he taught and lectured, mesmarised me by magic power of his teaching and simaltaneously drew pictures on the huge board with myriad of coloured chalks-pencils magnetised and inspired me so much that I forgot that I was wearing a Khaki- pant and it did not matter if the girls were smiling or whispering discussing my dress. I cared not and tried to draw picture on my note-book copying his drawings and afterwards . Soon the Cartoon-wa paper came out on the wall of the Students Union Office and made me popular and known to all and because of him.
That is that, - with that start and I , the shy boy with my inferiority complex amongst so many smart boys and girls of Medical college , kept up my faith in myself . Then, my cartoon Weekly -the PIBIS weekly - came up on the wall of the college with cartoon- pictures depicting College events and soon every one noticed me with appreciation and even the smart girls . Then onwards my name was PIBI and I won the first round by the begining of the second year in Medical College , Calcutta of 1950.
That is that, - with that start and I , the shy boy with my inferiority complex amongst so many smart boys and girls of Medical college , kept up my faith in myself . Then, my cartoon Weekly -the PIBIS weekly - came up on the wall of the college with cartoon- pictures depicting College events and soon every one noticed me with appreciation and even the smart girls . Then onwards my name was PIBI and I won the first round by the begining of the second year in Medical College , Calcutta of 1950.
AUTOBIOGRAPHY : TEEN-AGE TURN XXVI
After the picture which I don't remember as my mind was not in the show at all but in my planning a respectable RETURN -HOME. It was well in he night when I returned to a neighbouring house and the lady of that house informed my mother and I returned so hungry that my mother knew it by looking at my face and I had a good meal with Hilsa fish purchased again. My father also was no un-happy on my return and the whole episode of Hilsa-loss were forgotten soon.
Then on-ward it was a smooth sail and I was my usual self. Only the result of the first year final saddened me . I could manage to get between 38 t0 40 % (yeary colege xamination. which was held after assurance by college authority that every one woud be given pass mark ) As my poetry was published in the colege Magazine and my Math -teacher liked it, he once teased me and told - 'your poetic talent will not get you through the next Exam ( final)' . That comment put me back on the track and I planned seriousy to regain the lost ground.. This tine I used to go to my friend's house on Circular road where Mirza pur street met . They had a bigger house with extra room and we were good friends. Soon we signed a paper with promise and oath that we won't talk about girls anymore and will be serious in our studies. And one of us used it as a shade and stuck it on the Hurricane lamp ( there was no elctricity in their house). As bad luck had its way, the letter was picked up by my friend's elder sister and she showed it to her mother . So we had some tough time to explain but we wee excused on the basis of the nature of oath and promise. .... Any way ,time went on , the exam was over and I passed I.Sc with First division with letter mark in Maths. Soon my father was again on the field trying to put me every where - Medical , Engineering and even Presidency while I knew the least about what I really wanted to be except my poetry and painting hobby. Finally I was in Medical college , Calcutta ,more by effort of my fathe than my own endeavour.
Then on-ward it was a smooth sail and I was my usual self. Only the result of the first year final saddened me . I could manage to get between 38 t0 40 % (yeary colege xamination. which was held after assurance by college authority that every one woud be given pass mark ) As my poetry was published in the colege Magazine and my Math -teacher liked it, he once teased me and told - 'your poetic talent will not get you through the next Exam ( final)' . That comment put me back on the track and I planned seriousy to regain the lost ground.. This tine I used to go to my friend's house on Circular road where Mirza pur street met . They had a bigger house with extra room and we were good friends. Soon we signed a paper with promise and oath that we won't talk about girls anymore and will be serious in our studies. And one of us used it as a shade and stuck it on the Hurricane lamp ( there was no elctricity in their house). As bad luck had its way, the letter was picked up by my friend's elder sister and she showed it to her mother . So we had some tough time to explain but we wee excused on the basis of the nature of oath and promise. .... Any way ,time went on , the exam was over and I passed I.Sc with First division with letter mark in Maths. Soon my father was again on the field trying to put me every where - Medical , Engineering and even Presidency while I knew the least about what I really wanted to be except my poetry and painting hobby. Finally I was in Medical college , Calcutta ,more by effort of my fathe than my own endeavour.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
AUTOBIGRAPHY; - CINDERELLA-DREAM XXV
So ! I was as happy as in my village life with no strict discipline thurst on me to make me a bound child. My father had his small Boarding House in Delhi and stayed there most of the year. . He was a quick tempered personality and his joy -ous mood with children lasted not more than an hour a day. And just nearing Puja -fest., it happened . He took me to the market to make purchases for some feast, bought a pair of Hilsa fish and gave to me to hold and carry. I was a geneticaly forget-ful boy and within next 10 minutes lost both of them while sitting near some shop .. Soon, while walking with him I suddenly found that my hands were empty - no fish . As I knew his temper and the open-Air beating waitng for me , I ran alone back home managed some cash from my mother's wooden box and decided to 'abscond' to come back never. I walked the whole distance from Sealdah to Governor's house , sat there, rested and then reluctantly bought a 2nd class tram ticket to Bally-gunje area. On the way a great, cinderella -dream popped up in me . I knew I was not that bad-looking and was a first Divisioner( a good record those days. So this was a chance to change my life than going back home and get a good beatting from my father. So I roamed around in Rashbihari area dreaming of my quick change in fate and fortune. After some time, I found a quite handsome (the daughter had to be beautiful too) old gentle man sitting near the gate and reading news paper . I stopped there ,asked for some help. He took quite some time before turning to me and then scanned me like a detective ( i was such a fool!, not even to take off my wrist watch). He then wasted no time to say -" ran away from home ?- But why ?' I was speech -less getting caught so off guard ( such dialogues were not expected in Cinderella story) . I tried to be a bit smart - 'Can you sir help me ? I need some money and somewhere to stay ', This time he looked some what like a stern teacher and told -' boy, go home and be good' and started reading his newspaper.. I stood a few second still and started loosing ground and backed outside . My Cinderella -dream of gaining a foothold and a princess were floating thin like chimney-smoke. I came back to BASU-SREE cinema Hall, bought a ticket with most of the money I had (except the return -fare) and went inside .The picture was already running with deep darkness around and within me.
AUTO -BIOGRAPHY XXIV
I still remember ,in the college, I had only a 30-page exercise book which I could not fill up in three months . In that period of Political and communal turmoil , famine-aftermath, and no-direction-phase, it was the real freedom for teen-age boys like us. I needed only a pair of Chappal and a shirt of any size and a pai-jama for the college and outside too. As there were no girl-friend , I did not need any extra effort to look attractive. I hosted lots and lots of malarial parasite with their regular stage-show , had amoebiasis and other diarrhoeas and so, was slim like a bamoo twig but had no dirth of energy.I attended only 3 or 4 classes a day on average and there was more noise in the class than in the market in front of our college, on Scott Lane.
I told already,- it was the post-Independence period of unrest and we would always be eagar for 'Bande-Ma ta-ram' slogan from any source outside and our student leader woud respond smartly and I would join the 'come out' or 'Get to the street" slogan and procession until the end of Scot Lane and then come back home happy. Our rented two-room space with common toilet and single water tap for two famiies was Rs 30 = per month and we were 6 brothers , one sister, my mother,and grand nother (mother's side) to live in those two rooms with no extra covered veranda of our own. There was no dirth of noise around and great competetion amongst tenants for water and toilet timings. My reading space was the common passage of veranda where the water tap was and I was an eagar boy to win in the game of placing the water bucket under the tap in swift movement.
My other escape-hobby was to slip out in the afternoon to the nearest Cinema hall, PURABEE, about one-third of a mile on Harrison Road ( now M.Gandhi Road) and to peep through the gaping doors and see the running picture as long as I was not noticed and chased away. Thus, after repeated attempts, over days, I could get cut- piece nature of the story and construct the whole picture with the power of my imaginative skill. So the lack of pocket-money could never keep me defeated in my adventure and search for joy.
I told already,- it was the post-Independence period of unrest and we would always be eagar for 'Bande-Ma ta-ram' slogan from any source outside and our student leader woud respond smartly and I would join the 'come out' or 'Get to the street" slogan and procession until the end of Scot Lane and then come back home happy. Our rented two-room space with common toilet and single water tap for two famiies was Rs 30 = per month and we were 6 brothers , one sister, my mother,and grand nother (mother's side) to live in those two rooms with no extra covered veranda of our own. There was no dirth of noise around and great competetion amongst tenants for water and toilet timings. My reading space was the common passage of veranda where the water tap was and I was an eagar boy to win in the game of placing the water bucket under the tap in swift movement.
My other escape-hobby was to slip out in the afternoon to the nearest Cinema hall, PURABEE, about one-third of a mile on Harrison Road ( now M.Gandhi Road) and to peep through the gaping doors and see the running picture as long as I was not noticed and chased away. Thus, after repeated attempts, over days, I could get cut- piece nature of the story and construct the whole picture with the power of my imaginative skill. So the lack of pocket-money could never keep me defeated in my adventure and search for joy.
AUTO BIOGRAPHY : LOSS & GAIN XXIII
Soon I found that my loss i,e the chance to romantic closness to girls were well compensated. I got my happiest time being in Bangabasi College. No ragging - those days , enough crowd in the class to hide from teacher's notice( my section was Y i.e all English aphabets were well utilised by the blessings of Refugee -influx and three colleges - Bangabasi, Surendranath & Vidaya sagar college were nearest to Sealdah Rly station and welcomed all the refugee -boys from outside Calcutta. Those were the days after Independence and partition . Those were the days of communal-kilings and joy of Freedom and like the famous story of 'Tale of two Cities' , it was the best time for us , teen-age-students, and worst time of poitical uncertainty ,migrating suffering and starving refugees ,communal Kiling- games, Scarcity , post-famine starvation and chaotic social divides.
But I was a boy of 15-16 and everything made me happy including riots , as if I was enjoying a 'cock-fight' game everywhere ! Overmore , I was a boy from remote village and was hungry like a baby animal for something to thrive upon.
My college was wonderful with 170 students in my Y-section and the lecturer needed a binocular to find me and that was a great joy or liberty ,against the background of those rural restrictions. And we already formed a team of musical Band to perform Week-end Radio -songs- programme known as 'ANURODHER ASAR'( Feast of Requested songs).
So , now I had no sorrow or sense of loss , losing the chance of being closer to girls of Scottish Church College had no effect on me and really had no time for grief, as I had hundreds of things to know and expeience in the famous Capital city of CALCUTTA.
But I was a boy of 15-16 and everything made me happy including riots , as if I was enjoying a 'cock-fight' game everywhere ! Overmore , I was a boy from remote village and was hungry like a baby animal for something to thrive upon.
My college was wonderful with 170 students in my Y-section and the lecturer needed a binocular to find me and that was a great joy or liberty ,against the background of those rural restrictions. And we already formed a team of musical Band to perform Week-end Radio -songs- programme known as 'ANURODHER ASAR'( Feast of Requested songs).
So , now I had no sorrow or sense of loss , losing the chance of being closer to girls of Scottish Church College had no effect on me and really had no time for grief, as I had hundreds of things to know and expeience in the famous Capital city of CALCUTTA.
AUTOBIOGRAPHY : XXII
My first college life
The rural boy now in a capital city and aspiring for recognition .
It was not easy; nor had. I really had not any aspiration or plan but my father monitored it on me . Though I got a good first Division with even letters marks in 2 or 3 subjects , I did not really want to be anything except enjoying my urban ife . I came from Barisal in july and was late for any ggod college includng Presidency or scottsh church. Now only Banga-basi or Ripon college was wide open for refugee-immigrants.But enchanted by dazzling Calcutta -life, I became suddeny ambitious and romantic and wanted to be in Scottish church college , where , as I learnt , it was Co-education and plenty of beautiful girls from rich class.. All along in my vilage life , I was bound by all types of restrictions . Even if I tried to talk to my cousin-sisters , I would be scolded by seniors ,even six months older . So now with my better result I almost became bold enough in facing my father(he was a leo and every one of us, in family, was like sheep to him) but now I was a village boy with 1st division, to my credit. So wanted to try to be, as what I wanted to be ! The famous prof. of Mathematics in scottish church college was mMdhusudan Sarkar and he was from our district and was known to us through relationship. So I ventured , one day and met him and opened up my desire to be admitted. He listened and then told -' you have good marks but you are late by a month. So get into any college near your home'. But I tried to be persistent with my desire to be in a Scottish Church college. He looked intently at me for a few second then hit me straight -' you want this college becuse there is co-education, which means there are girls ?' He almost hit me between my eyes and I was fumbling for words but was trying to stand the storm . Then he told sharply ' Go home . you are getting to the wrong track. Coming from a remote village , you are already proving yourself a spoilt boy and girls will spoil you more . Go home and get into any college that is still open for you. Nowyou can go.' ....
I dion't know how any one, knocked by Mohammed ali did stand the ground but I could not and was staggarring back home.Next time I was in Bangabasi College and had jolly good time there, enjoying the freedom of college life without competetion or restrictions of school-ife in a village.And - I found myself.
The rural boy now in a capital city and aspiring for recognition .
It was not easy; nor had. I really had not any aspiration or plan but my father monitored it on me . Though I got a good first Division with even letters marks in 2 or 3 subjects , I did not really want to be anything except enjoying my urban ife . I came from Barisal in july and was late for any ggod college includng Presidency or scottsh church. Now only Banga-basi or Ripon college was wide open for refugee-immigrants.But enchanted by dazzling Calcutta -life, I became suddeny ambitious and romantic and wanted to be in Scottish church college , where , as I learnt , it was Co-education and plenty of beautiful girls from rich class.. All along in my vilage life , I was bound by all types of restrictions . Even if I tried to talk to my cousin-sisters , I would be scolded by seniors ,even six months older . So now with my better result I almost became bold enough in facing my father(he was a leo and every one of us, in family, was like sheep to him) but now I was a village boy with 1st division, to my credit. So wanted to try to be, as what I wanted to be ! The famous prof. of Mathematics in scottish church college was mMdhusudan Sarkar and he was from our district and was known to us through relationship. So I ventured , one day and met him and opened up my desire to be admitted. He listened and then told -' you have good marks but you are late by a month. So get into any college near your home'. But I tried to be persistent with my desire to be in a Scottish Church college. He looked intently at me for a few second then hit me straight -' you want this college becuse there is co-education, which means there are girls ?' He almost hit me between my eyes and I was fumbling for words but was trying to stand the storm . Then he told sharply ' Go home . you are getting to the wrong track. Coming from a remote village , you are already proving yourself a spoilt boy and girls will spoil you more . Go home and get into any college that is still open for you. Nowyou can go.' ....
I dion't know how any one, knocked by Mohammed ali did stand the ground but I could not and was staggarring back home.Next time I was in Bangabasi College and had jolly good time there, enjoying the freedom of college life without competetion or restrictions of school-ife in a village.And - I found myself.
Monday, October 4, 2010
AUTOBIPGRAPHY - Back to my past XXI
Now where to make the landing! Soon !- during my Matricuation exam.,approaching ,came the lightning shock that my Country was being divided includung our Bengal! At first , there were rumours and we were hoping against hope that our part of motherland, BARISAl would be saved and we were swinging on the craddle of hope and dream.As told before, 90% of our village population were muslims but we never knew Communal dis-harmony. We joined each other's festivals and ceremonies during Puja days and Muharam or Id. But now with the prospect of 'Freedom !' the picture and environment changed. Even my close muslim class- mates started talking in changed accents.....and we were practising self defense ,with 3-inch knifes and cut-out bamboo-stick.
So !, soon I lost my boyhood with the temptation of 'Freedom' and was growing up fast to face some adverseries about whom I had no clear idea. But it did not matter ;the excitement of facing some enemies of another community( who were almost our relatives,just the other day) inspired me to make bows and arrows and slings . And a long-term sick boy like me felt like a developing fighter and was always planning, with my restless mind and frail malaria -diarrhoeia infested body to meet the approaching enemies ( Like Don Quoxote about whom I read long after and I had no De La Mancha to help me ) but I was Practising very hard.
Once, in earlier time, it happened so , that I was successful in Kiling a sparow in my third or fourth aim and felt so excited and elated that I held it by its wings and ran back home and met my mother on her way back carrying water pitcher , filled up . I could not suppress my joy of such martial success and like a proud son faced her with the hope of great appreciation for my skill(like Arjuna). She put down the pitcher ,looked at the dead bird and then suddenly catching hold on my arm gave me such a hard fist-blow that this aspiring warrior instantly lost his breath, ,my spine arched back and I could only afford a painful and shrill cry. Sad ! and thus the dream of being a potential Alexander or Napolean was nipped in the bud which the growing Century must have lamented much, for the loss.
So !, soon I lost my boyhood with the temptation of 'Freedom' and was growing up fast to face some adverseries about whom I had no clear idea. But it did not matter ;the excitement of facing some enemies of another community( who were almost our relatives,just the other day) inspired me to make bows and arrows and slings . And a long-term sick boy like me felt like a developing fighter and was always planning, with my restless mind and frail malaria -diarrhoeia infested body to meet the approaching enemies ( Like Don Quoxote about whom I read long after and I had no De La Mancha to help me ) but I was Practising very hard.
Once, in earlier time, it happened so , that I was successful in Kiling a sparow in my third or fourth aim and felt so excited and elated that I held it by its wings and ran back home and met my mother on her way back carrying water pitcher , filled up . I could not suppress my joy of such martial success and like a proud son faced her with the hope of great appreciation for my skill(like Arjuna). She put down the pitcher ,looked at the dead bird and then suddenly catching hold on my arm gave me such a hard fist-blow that this aspiring warrior instantly lost his breath, ,my spine arched back and I could only afford a painful and shrill cry. Sad ! and thus the dream of being a potential Alexander or Napolean was nipped in the bud which the growing Century must have lamented much, for the loss.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
FINAL APPEAL ( POETRY ) XX
Open ! - wider, -the SKY
I feel suffocated on this limittimg World !
Let Your Sun and stars shine more or glow
As now, -together
I need - more LIGHT
Let all thy Galaxies join my aaspiring thoughts
to fullfil the final design of my DREAM
Want to feel better in floods of LOVE
to swim or be carried away
to-wards some final dive.
Open up ,then, YOUR Sky or space
I want to know my real shape
Let it ,if it be
for a fractured moment
of Thy Eternal Time and Space.
(Composed on 4th Oct. 'io IST )
I feel suffocated on this limittimg World !
Let Your Sun and stars shine more or glow
As now, -together
I need - more LIGHT
Let all thy Galaxies join my aaspiring thoughts
to fullfil the final design of my DREAM
Want to feel better in floods of LOVE
to swim or be carried away
to-wards some final dive.
Open up ,then, YOUR Sky or space
I want to know my real shape
Let it ,if it be
for a fractured moment
of Thy Eternal Time and Space.
(Composed on 4th Oct. 'io IST )
MY TUOUGHTS & MY THESIS of 1960 XIX
It 1was 1958 when I resigned from my Central Govt. job and accepted Govt. Of India Scholarship for my M.D in Mdicine with special suject Cardiology. I was not yet married and my scholarship was Rs 150/= per month. But I was happy to get the chance to do somthing .The subject of the Thesis itsef satisfied me.. It was " ABO - BLOOD GROUPS IN INDIAN PEOPLE AND THEIR RELATION TO VARIOUS DISEASES " More interesting incidence wss that after completion of the thesis and its acceptaance, I gave up my M.D -study for 3-4 years on personal grounds and I was married then.
But the subject of my thesis satisfied me and my guide (Dr, P.S. Gupta M..D , Reader , Maulana Azad Medical College, Delhi)immensely. And the INTRODUCTION itself will tell it better .
"Why do Certain people suffer from Diseases while others do not ? Is there something inherent in certin persons that render them either more susceptible to certain dieases or less prone to others ? These are the questions older than the History of Medicine itself and yet have not been completely answered",
"Before and during the earliest days of Civiisation, Diseases were accepted as punishment from Heaven for Human faults or failures. But since then, Science and Civiisation have progressed through so many Centuries until the present day when Knowledge has overcome mysteries and even Space and atoms have bowed down to the mastery of SCIENCE. and have uncovered more of their puzzling secrets............ the influences of environment, sex,, age , occupation and heridity in diseases had never been more thoroughly studied before. Yet the mysteries are not all clear.....Though the first half of the Twentieth Century has seen rapid expansion of Science of Genetics, there has not been comparable growth in that branch concerned with Human Inheritence until ABO Blood Groups came into the field "
This is where I left the field of my research by demands of material World in 1960 and after acceptance of my thesis. Since ,I entered a job again and then in 1965 had the lucky chance to get my M.D Degree.
Yet the World did not stand still and Science of Genetics progressed and sped through Dr, Watson & Crick , who finally had the success story of completing the human Genome. Their work and research covered a span of 27 years (1953 - 1980)
But my mind still lingers on the issue of Genetic -link in Causation of Dieases. I proved in one diease - i,e Cancer of Tongue (G,I -Tract)where there was proved statistical significance of the diease in Blood Group A , when, interestingly, Blood group A prevalence in INDIAN people held only 3rd place [ in Delhi i.e 30 % ] !
Whie in U.S.A ( 1993 - 2008 ), I tried to communicate this finding of mine but did not succeed . In western World, Blood Gr- A is more prevalent ( 42 % . in London).There is even , now , the scope of finding this relation of Cancer of GI Tract with Blood group A in Western world. The material for research will be found ready -made ,as in all proved & operated cases the Bood group is estabished in every hospital.
But the subject of my thesis satisfied me and my guide (Dr, P.S. Gupta M..D , Reader , Maulana Azad Medical College, Delhi)immensely. And the INTRODUCTION itself will tell it better .
"Why do Certain people suffer from Diseases while others do not ? Is there something inherent in certin persons that render them either more susceptible to certain dieases or less prone to others ? These are the questions older than the History of Medicine itself and yet have not been completely answered",
"Before and during the earliest days of Civiisation, Diseases were accepted as punishment from Heaven for Human faults or failures. But since then, Science and Civiisation have progressed through so many Centuries until the present day when Knowledge has overcome mysteries and even Space and atoms have bowed down to the mastery of SCIENCE. and have uncovered more of their puzzling secrets............ the influences of environment, sex,, age , occupation and heridity in diseases had never been more thoroughly studied before. Yet the mysteries are not all clear.....Though the first half of the Twentieth Century has seen rapid expansion of Science of Genetics, there has not been comparable growth in that branch concerned with Human Inheritence until ABO Blood Groups came into the field "
This is where I left the field of my research by demands of material World in 1960 and after acceptance of my thesis. Since ,I entered a job again and then in 1965 had the lucky chance to get my M.D Degree.
Yet the World did not stand still and Science of Genetics progressed and sped through Dr, Watson & Crick , who finally had the success story of completing the human Genome. Their work and research covered a span of 27 years (1953 - 1980)
But my mind still lingers on the issue of Genetic -link in Causation of Dieases. I proved in one diease - i,e Cancer of Tongue (G,I -Tract)where there was proved statistical significance of the diease in Blood Group A , when, interestingly, Blood group A prevalence in INDIAN people held only 3rd place [ in Delhi i.e 30 % ] !
Whie in U.S.A ( 1993 - 2008 ), I tried to communicate this finding of mine but did not succeed . In western World, Blood Gr- A is more prevalent ( 42 % . in London).There is even , now , the scope of finding this relation of Cancer of GI Tract with Blood group A in Western world. The material for research will be found ready -made ,as in all proved & operated cases the Bood group is estabished in every hospital.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
DEATH : a Mental Fear XVIII
Death ? - the greatest joke or a hoax
the end-game of a recycling plan of God
makes and breaks , -again builds
the integrated Unified play; unique , ever new
the indivisibe theme of unified 'Grand Design '!
Death ? - a false-hood or divulging trap
the seed hiding in fruit ripens at last
drops on earth again and only to evolve
the Time-Space engaged in the Magic- Play
and step by step it ever descends
by whim of MOTHER NATURE, with the Divine beyond
and even the Designer is helpless now
Each phase has to play by laid down-rule.
The sun , where rises , has to set there too
Divinity , the real play-wright ,- ever alone
with myriad ,myriad field of Conscious forms
of an eternal end-less Magic game
with terminal end-piece, - that we have named -
the DEATH . (first composed in Bengali on 3/08/2oo1 ; now in engish on 22/08/10)
the end-game of a recycling plan of God
makes and breaks , -again builds
the integrated Unified play; unique , ever new
the indivisibe theme of unified 'Grand Design '!
Death ? - a false-hood or divulging trap
the seed hiding in fruit ripens at last
drops on earth again and only to evolve
the Time-Space engaged in the Magic- Play
and step by step it ever descends
by whim of MOTHER NATURE, with the Divine beyond
and even the Designer is helpless now
Each phase has to play by laid down-rule.
The sun , where rises , has to set there too
Divinity , the real play-wright ,- ever alone
with myriad ,myriad field of Conscious forms
of an eternal end-less Magic game
with terminal end-piece, - that we have named -
the DEATH . (first composed in Bengali on 3/08/2oo1 ; now in engish on 22/08/10)
Saturday, September 18, 2010
MIGRATING HOMOSAPIEN-s -XVII
Learnt it first from the book of H.G Wells ( History of the World) that all men nomadic character . originating from Tropical Africa and then like current flow through rivers and tributeries and intermingling ever , changing coour and shape according to light exposure and geographical disposition. Long long before that I heard the simiar story in loca form from my Grand mother that about 4 generation back our fore fathers came to East Bengal ( Barisal) seeking better future and they settled in the viage called Sehanga in pirojpur subdivision of Barisa dDistrict, Not only that but she coud name the head of our forefather upto 8 generation upwards and which the modern educated society can not or care not to remember. any way I aso learnt that Ram ram basu who taught bengai to Wiiam carrey of Srirampore was our 8 or 9 step up forefather and our ancestral home was TAKI that is now in North Bengal bordering Bangladesh. So once we were 'Ghati' the teasing term for bengaees of west Bengal then we becamr 'Bangals' and then again fled to west Bengal by the result of Partition. And finally now an American Citizen with Duel citizenship.
I think H,G wels woud ove to bring out another famous Book if he learnt that a vilage boy of the remotest part of ruea India is also an American. Why not ! if Coumbus coud discover RED-INDIANS in America ! Yet now I am again back to the starting point of a circle and have setted back in Konnagar , Hoogly of West Bengal . So , i also represent the migration or nomadic character of human sttement or restlessness.!
I think H,G wels woud ove to bring out another famous Book if he learnt that a vilage boy of the remotest part of ruea India is also an American. Why not ! if Coumbus coud discover RED-INDIANS in America ! Yet now I am again back to the starting point of a circle and have setted back in Konnagar , Hoogly of West Bengal . So , i also represent the migration or nomadic character of human sttement or restlessness.!
MIGRATING HOMOSAPIEN-s -XVI
Learnt it first from the book of H.G Wells ( History of the World) that all men are of Npmadic character . Originating from Tropical Africa and then like current flow through rivers and tributeries and intermingling ever , changing colour and shape according to light- exposure and geographical disposition. Long long before that I heard the similar story form from my Grand mother that about 4 generation back our fore -fathers from Westen part of Bengal, came to East Bengal ( Barisal) seeking better future and they settled in the village called Sehangal in Pirozpur subdivision of Barisal dDistrict, Not only that but she could tell the names of our forefathers upto 8 generation upwards and which the modern educated society can not or care not to remember. Any way ,I also learnt that, - Ram ram basu who taught Bengali to William kerry of Srirampore was our 8 or 9 step -up forefather and our ancestral home was TAKI that is in North Bengal bordering Bangladesh. So once we were 'Ghati' the teasing term for Bengalees of west Bengal then we becamr 'Bangals' and then again fled to west Bengal by the result of Partition. And finally now an American Citizen with Duel citizenship.This is another capsule- story of our migration.
I think H,G wels would have to bring out another famous Book( Mark twain) if he learnt that a vilage boy of the remotest part of rural India is also an American. (Why not ! if Columbus could find - 'RED-INDIANS' in America !.)..... Back to the starting point of a circle now,I have,now, settled back in Konnagar , Hoogly ,of West Bengal, against the wil of my children though, now they also have liked the place or my choice) . So , I also represent the migration or nomadic character of human settlement or resttlement story.!
I think H,G wels would have to bring out another famous Book( Mark twain) if he learnt that a vilage boy of the remotest part of rural India is also an American. (Why not ! if Columbus could find - 'RED-INDIANS' in America !.)..... Back to the starting point of a circle now,I have,now, settled back in Konnagar , Hoogly ,of West Bengal, against the wil of my children though, now they also have liked the place or my choice) . So , I also represent the migration or nomadic character of human settlement or resttlement story.!
AUTOBIOGRAPHY : DEATH - LIFE ETC -XV
After that, as told, I slipped out from the lap of death four times at least.It was i) when I fell from a tree when I was about ten yrs old. ii] next was , when in Delhi [1962 ]I was caugt by live a.c (power)-current of a water-heater when I was alone in the house. (iii] Next one was during my young brother's marriage when I had a fight with a gang on train in a reserved car,( our seat occupid by a mafia . Wnen I challenged and fought ,( it was a looing & politically suppoted Gang - as revealed later in Police enquiry)and I was being thrown out of runnung train near AllahabadS[U.P]Rly Station. I was saved by providence , because the train already entered the station. . Next (IV] I was taken for dead after I was hit by a Bus and fell unconcious ( in C,R, Park, near my House..
I am still alive and kicking around with OCI status and nobody should find fault with Divinity if I am alive nor blame the king od Death telling that 'HE' did not try . .... Both egoistic and Science-prone people often think that our intelligence can manipulate the mode and time of our death. But with even some medical background, I believe, that -things are decided elsewhere than our tiny capacity. and ... 'there are more things in heaven and earth than that are dreamt of in your philosophy ' -_shakespeare. yet as I was born , -this body will die some day and the inside dweller i.e my Soul or real 'I' will rent a new shelter; O.k ? Let me come back on the track. So , I coild have died many times before but did not and survived every time , maybe, to have to write these blogss.
I am still alive and kicking around with OCI status and nobody should find fault with Divinity if I am alive nor blame the king od Death telling that 'HE' did not try . .... Both egoistic and Science-prone people often think that our intelligence can manipulate the mode and time of our death. But with even some medical background, I believe, that -things are decided elsewhere than our tiny capacity. and ... 'there are more things in heaven and earth than that are dreamt of in your philosophy ' -_shakespeare. yet as I was born , -this body will die some day and the inside dweller i.e my Soul or real 'I' will rent a new shelter; O.k ? Let me come back on the track. So , I coild have died many times before but did not and survived every time , maybe, to have to write these blogss.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Autobiography : - Death Visitting Life -XIV
I was born lucky to experience .life and also Death. I was so excited to know from my garnd mother that I was almost dead when I was taken to the Canal by my unce who took me there for my burial. I was gasping, kept on a banana leaf and put on the ground where a pit was dug and my uncle then, alone, smoking a 'Hukka' and waiting and waiting for my last breath and I disobeying Yama Raja or king of death . even after an hour. At last, a litte after, the king of DEATH left feeling cheated. ! My uncle now, brought me back home.
My second meeting with Death,as grand mother told me , when I was six or seven yrs old and I went out alone and tried , perhaps , to measure the depth of the very big Pond ( District board)) in front of our home . As I learnt later, I must have been drowned for some time and then my body came up floating with back side up for the last sinking to the depth. ...amd just that was the pre-destined moment when my elder brother came back playing some where and seeing a floted 'something' - tried his aim on it with a piece of mud and sudenly ( like SATORI ) he started shouting -'ma --ma ...-....- pha.. its pha- ( 1st half of my name ) !
My grand mother was nearer and had reflex-skill or 6 Th. sense ! she came almost running, saw the 'floating thing' and jumped in water , rescued my water -filled body , put me , with my belly on her head and started , herself, revolving on the spot( even modern medicine can learn and train modern sophisticated ladies who are ony smart enough to weep in any emergency). And , then all my stored water in my lungs and belly came out and the King of Death went again,- dis-appointed.
Till I was 12 , I had two more appoinment with Death and uptil now I have had Eight. So even Yama Raja rejected me so many times or I offended Him so often and I could create lot of troubles in my life after Death it was better Death might have decided, that I was left here to suffer.
My second meeting with Death,as grand mother told me , when I was six or seven yrs old and I went out alone and tried , perhaps , to measure the depth of the very big Pond ( District board)) in front of our home . As I learnt later, I must have been drowned for some time and then my body came up floating with back side up for the last sinking to the depth. ...amd just that was the pre-destined moment when my elder brother came back playing some where and seeing a floted 'something' - tried his aim on it with a piece of mud and sudenly ( like SATORI ) he started shouting -'ma --ma ...-....- pha.. its pha- ( 1st half of my name ) !
My grand mother was nearer and had reflex-skill or 6 Th. sense ! she came almost running, saw the 'floating thing' and jumped in water , rescued my water -filled body , put me , with my belly on her head and started , herself, revolving on the spot( even modern medicine can learn and train modern sophisticated ladies who are ony smart enough to weep in any emergency). And , then all my stored water in my lungs and belly came out and the King of Death went again,- dis-appointed.
Till I was 12 , I had two more appoinment with Death and uptil now I have had Eight. So even Yama Raja rejected me so many times or I offended Him so often and I could create lot of troubles in my life after Death it was better Death might have decided, that I was left here to suffer.
AUTOBIOGRAPHY : WHAT IS LIFE ? XIII
To me life is like a big Canvas bordered by a frame and holding within , a big Space-Time field of 80 -90 yrs . Even if one lives longer it is usually outside the zone of our memory field. And to me, Experience is the real Life. Books , informations , professional status, wealth are but auxillary or accessories.
I am so proud ( not egoistic) of my experiences in life . I was a real Rural boy in the remote corner of Bengal,was free like a bird , wild ike a deer , no bag of books on my shoulder,(cf: modern time) half the day , I was on trees picking (sometimes stealing) fruits , or swiming in pond or fishing or playng with marbles or tops and never wearing shoes or dressing up like painted Models
When I came to the district town ( Barisal ) to join Class Ix( B.M school) I experienced a big change and thought that Barisal must be one of the biggest Cities of the WORLD . Soon in two years,- Partition of India and Bengal threw me on a bigger Metropolis called CALCUTTA , after - seeing and being, first, in a TRAIN ! I reached Calcutta and was over-joyed being first in a Tram -car that speeded on land . Then I,a refugee boy, was shetered in a place where , we,5 persons lived in one room at Benia Toa lane on Harison Road ( Now Mahatma Gandhi road). The chages and experiences were great and shuffling so fast that I felt too excited to take stock of all the treasure-worlds scattered before me to fill up my school-leaving life ! And it was the Post -Famine and 'Free-India' period with communal kiling -sport-'. And also , a time in my life, when my Mother -land was butchered into two parts and I as a run -away 'Refugee -boy' searching for my place in LIFE.
I am so proud ( not egoistic) of my experiences in life . I was a real Rural boy in the remote corner of Bengal,was free like a bird , wild ike a deer , no bag of books on my shoulder,(cf: modern time) half the day , I was on trees picking (sometimes stealing) fruits , or swiming in pond or fishing or playng with marbles or tops and never wearing shoes or dressing up like painted Models
When I came to the district town ( Barisal ) to join Class Ix( B.M school) I experienced a big change and thought that Barisal must be one of the biggest Cities of the WORLD . Soon in two years,- Partition of India and Bengal threw me on a bigger Metropolis called CALCUTTA , after - seeing and being, first, in a TRAIN ! I reached Calcutta and was over-joyed being first in a Tram -car that speeded on land . Then I,a refugee boy, was shetered in a place where , we,5 persons lived in one room at Benia Toa lane on Harison Road ( Now Mahatma Gandhi road). The chages and experiences were great and shuffling so fast that I felt too excited to take stock of all the treasure-worlds scattered before me to fill up my school-leaving life ! And it was the Post -Famine and 'Free-India' period with communal kiling -sport-'. And also , a time in my life, when my Mother -land was butchered into two parts and I as a run -away 'Refugee -boy' searching for my place in LIFE.
A UTOBIOGRAPHY : Which ones are Love ? - XII
WHICH ONES ARE LOVE ?
I love my parents /I Love my children / love my wife / love my brother / love my friend /love the statue of Liberty - OR I love a friend who happens to be a lady OR
I love hunting / love drinking/ l love flirtinfg/ love bluffing / love gambling ..... OR... what is LOVE in aesthetic sense ? !
What is really LOVE and in how many ways can it be expressed? And what was the fault of a married lady who expressed that she loved me ! Can not a married woman love the qualities in another man Or do all love has the same meaning - Sex ? Then how does a mother love her child or a married woman love her own brother or father. This complex question was put to me by the same Lady when the storm was turmoiling us and I could not reply.
To me the meaning of 'love' is hidden in the reversal of the word or EVOL or evolving of the soul towards higher plane of Cosciousness. But the social Stigma and sense has degraded so much in sensual world that the real meaning of LOVE is lost everywhere. I gave up my Medical Speciaity after retirement and took up poetry and visual Art as the way of my conscious evolvement for the rest of life span. My wife is dearest to me and I love her most as a husband,. but does that mean that I can not estabish friendship with a lady who is versatile in the language of my choice and also good in poetry. And if we sit together for an hour and talk on Art and literature , then, is it that the whole fabric of Social culture get putrified ? Does a man and a woman , if they meet, have only one channel of expression - sex? My god!; is it 21st century or is it still a reproductive biological vital world without evolving consciousness !. ...And ...I don't know yet at least, from my own experience in life. And I am still pondering on - what is ife and what is Love !? !?.
I love my parents /I Love my children / love my wife / love my brother / love my friend /love the statue of Liberty - OR I love a friend who happens to be a lady OR
I love hunting / love drinking/ l love flirtinfg/ love bluffing / love gambling ..... OR... what is LOVE in aesthetic sense ? !
What is really LOVE and in how many ways can it be expressed? And what was the fault of a married lady who expressed that she loved me ! Can not a married woman love the qualities in another man Or do all love has the same meaning - Sex ? Then how does a mother love her child or a married woman love her own brother or father. This complex question was put to me by the same Lady when the storm was turmoiling us and I could not reply.
To me the meaning of 'love' is hidden in the reversal of the word or EVOL or evolving of the soul towards higher plane of Cosciousness. But the social Stigma and sense has degraded so much in sensual world that the real meaning of LOVE is lost everywhere. I gave up my Medical Speciaity after retirement and took up poetry and visual Art as the way of my conscious evolvement for the rest of life span. My wife is dearest to me and I love her most as a husband,. but does that mean that I can not estabish friendship with a lady who is versatile in the language of my choice and also good in poetry. And if we sit together for an hour and talk on Art and literature , then, is it that the whole fabric of Social culture get putrified ? Does a man and a woman , if they meet, have only one channel of expression - sex? My god!; is it 21st century or is it still a reproductive biological vital world without evolving consciousness !. ...And ...I don't know yet at least, from my own experience in life. And I am still pondering on - what is ife and what is Love !? !?.
AUTOBIOGRAPHY : Paradise Lost! -XI
Came back again to U.S.A of my iving for last 10 years and started adjusting to new conditions . I was now 72 yrs and a U.S.A citizen and all my children were now in U.S.A and we two , old couple, were living in the home of my son in Delaware, near a Golf -club Lake with picturasque surroundings . Yet U.S.A was not a right place for old couple like us and felt , easiy, like up-rooted tree on indifferent Soil, in late life. I remembered the old lines of a poem : ' All dressed up and no where to go '.
My wife was a very cool type while I, always on changing vibration and frequency . I gave up Medicine for love of poetry, painting and wood-sculpture. and thought myself lucky to have a friend, at ast, who was a poet herself and I built up dreams to talk and talk to her on poetry , painting and art for the rest of ife, even when away from India. But things now happened so differenty after the recent episode! My wife preffered silence even in that of our lony iving with our sons and daughter living in their own places . I always wanted to invent ideas and expresss thoughts she ,now, was more within zone of silence. I could not ,even, enter into a dialogue( she was so upset and angree) to convince her that I did nothing wrong and never betrayed. Silence is the worst barrier in field of communication and I was also adament , for - I knew I did much better than even Vishwamitra ( the mythological Deva with Menaka.)... . So time passed by in U.S.A where I lived like an exile except the fact that all my family members were there but no scope to express myself. Of course the computer was my best friend and my chidren tried their best , to keep me happy. But my happiness lay in the field of creative culture not entertainment or iving in comfort.
I was filling up space after space, pages after pages on Poetry.com and even got an Editor's chaice award ( bronze medal) . I wrote on Geeta , on Bible , on Islam, on Kathamrita and what not. I took up Cosmology as my favourite hobby since I came to U.S.A and had read Upanishads and searched for co-relation and found some and was excited , even in depression. I finished a few books (from Dirac to Ed.witten and 'Strings') and compared them with yogavashishtha & Atma Geeta and strated putting them on Blogs.
In short, I felt defeated and thrown down but I was lifting myself up and fighting back though I was losing on both worlds of my friendship and loving reation with my wife.
My wife was a very cool type while I, always on changing vibration and frequency . I gave up Medicine for love of poetry, painting and wood-sculpture. and thought myself lucky to have a friend, at ast, who was a poet herself and I built up dreams to talk and talk to her on poetry , painting and art for the rest of ife, even when away from India. But things now happened so differenty after the recent episode! My wife preffered silence even in that of our lony iving with our sons and daughter living in their own places . I always wanted to invent ideas and expresss thoughts she ,now, was more within zone of silence. I could not ,even, enter into a dialogue( she was so upset and angree) to convince her that I did nothing wrong and never betrayed. Silence is the worst barrier in field of communication and I was also adament , for - I knew I did much better than even Vishwamitra ( the mythological Deva with Menaka.)... . So time passed by in U.S.A where I lived like an exile except the fact that all my family members were there but no scope to express myself. Of course the computer was my best friend and my chidren tried their best , to keep me happy. But my happiness lay in the field of creative culture not entertainment or iving in comfort.
I was filling up space after space, pages after pages on Poetry.com and even got an Editor's chaice award ( bronze medal) . I wrote on Geeta , on Bible , on Islam, on Kathamrita and what not. I took up Cosmology as my favourite hobby since I came to U.S.A and had read Upanishads and searched for co-relation and found some and was excited , even in depression. I finished a few books (from Dirac to Ed.witten and 'Strings') and compared them with yogavashishtha & Atma Geeta and strated putting them on Blogs.
In short, I felt defeated and thrown down but I was lifting myself up and fighting back though I was losing on both worlds of my friendship and loving reation with my wife.
AUTOBIOGRAPHY : What was it , Love ? -X
2001 -july ; The Builder completed the building in C.R park ,Delhi and I and my wife flew back from U.S.A for the hand -over of our flat. We saw the building while coming to C.R park from I. G Air-Port and both liked the buiding. The hand over was complete and we shifted back to our old place . For seven days, I went to Calcutta to meet my friends ,relatives and regarding pubication of my next book. I went to the college of that friend to meet her. I was well received by college staff and when she came out we went down to a park to talk about poetry , all the things we could remember and loved in ife. There was an insect crawling on my shirt . she tried to pick it up and I reminded her of our declared promise. She almost laughed oud and over -ruled.
I was already one more year older . She too pleaded for accepting the pre-destined fate and turmoil that affected our friendship, and to help the healing for both of our families. Her son was now for Medical studies. We did not know how to draw the curtain ! I was against it as I felt there was nothing wrong in our friendship but she wanted to end our meering in future for the sake of peace for both famiies.
Next day I went to Kamar Pukur ,the birth place of Sri Ramakrishna and also visited Jairam bati the birth place of Sarada ma and came back and left for Delhi the very day . She proposed for coming to Station but I advised her not to . And she advised me , again to draw the end line some where now to save and help both families. I rebelled and told - if I know I am not doing anything mean why should I submit to any situation or, - what should I care for others' concusions? I was even, ready to meet her husband and children to stand the test. She advised me instead to win over first my wife as she was the helpless sufferer without knowing that we were pure friends and with no ill design or motive . I came back to Delhi.
The storm calmed down but clouds were hanging thick on the land of UN-certainty !
I was already one more year older . She too pleaded for accepting the pre-destined fate and turmoil that affected our friendship, and to help the healing for both of our families. Her son was now for Medical studies. We did not know how to draw the curtain ! I was against it as I felt there was nothing wrong in our friendship but she wanted to end our meering in future for the sake of peace for both famiies.
Next day I went to Kamar Pukur ,the birth place of Sri Ramakrishna and also visited Jairam bati the birth place of Sarada ma and came back and left for Delhi the very day . She proposed for coming to Station but I advised her not to . And she advised me , again to draw the end line some where now to save and help both families. I rebelled and told - if I know I am not doing anything mean why should I submit to any situation or, - what should I care for others' concusions? I was even, ready to meet her husband and children to stand the test. She advised me instead to win over first my wife as she was the helpless sufferer without knowing that we were pure friends and with no ill design or motive . I came back to Delhi.
The storm calmed down but clouds were hanging thick on the land of UN-certainty !
AUTO-BIOGRAPHY : What was it , - Love ? -IX
So life is ike that and designed not by us but somewhere in Space or vibration- Field by some supreme Designer. Maybe , according to Modern Cosmology there are other planes of worlds where things happened other-wise; where the sister of my eldest brother's wife really waited 5 years and I had kept my promise or in another Field where there came no storm and the sky and space was so vast and cerulean blue and I was still the friend to my wife and son. But in the present set-up the storm came like in Greek tragedy without fault of any one and even my dearest son who was my best friend was a witness. It happened this way:
I came back to Delhi after 3-4 days and she( my poet-friend) insisted and came to the Railway station to see me off on my departure in Rajdhani express. I stayed about 2 wks more in India and flew back to U.S.A where my wife was and we both were living in our son's house in Delaware( Our son was then in Chcago , settled there after marriage) and our daughter was within 4 miles and looked after us.
Naturally we would talk on phone and it was 10 hours time- gap between India and U.S.A . And one day it was an E- mail conversation and there was a block . My son who came from Chicago for a week, was down stairs and I sought his help. Like the play of Providence , her message in the end jumped out,just then and her words were -'I love you ' and my son looked at me, smiled and joked and I was caught 'red- handed' of course ! I explained our poetic and Platonic relation to him . He knew that I never lied and accepted after I told that she wrote beautiful poems and we were friends and never on physical level but on Platonic wave -length. On the break-fast table my son made comments in lighter vein to his mother, injecting humour . And it seemed o.k for some time but the cloud on her face gathered dark and deep. Next day I told the other side about this unhappy incident and was surprized to learn that 'same thing' happened on computer-screen with her son there ,helping her. I wondered and wondered without light . It must be providence or pre-destination . Or I don't know how to explain !
For next one or two weeks , I had great 'Depression ' and wrote a poem on it. I asked her ,- how she was facing it /, she told ,- her son saved her and did not tell his father after listening to his mother's defense urguments ; 'I love you son , I love my husband , I love my mother and if I love a friend how am I a spoilt mother to you. She won her case but I was not lucky. My son left for Chicago in 2 days and we were two devastated sufferers on the stage where I was the worst villain and she the 'cheated soul '!
I came back to Delhi after 3-4 days and she( my poet-friend) insisted and came to the Railway station to see me off on my departure in Rajdhani express. I stayed about 2 wks more in India and flew back to U.S.A where my wife was and we both were living in our son's house in Delaware( Our son was then in Chcago , settled there after marriage) and our daughter was within 4 miles and looked after us.
Naturally we would talk on phone and it was 10 hours time- gap between India and U.S.A . And one day it was an E- mail conversation and there was a block . My son who came from Chicago for a week, was down stairs and I sought his help. Like the play of Providence , her message in the end jumped out,just then and her words were -'I love you ' and my son looked at me, smiled and joked and I was caught 'red- handed' of course ! I explained our poetic and Platonic relation to him . He knew that I never lied and accepted after I told that she wrote beautiful poems and we were friends and never on physical level but on Platonic wave -length. On the break-fast table my son made comments in lighter vein to his mother, injecting humour . And it seemed o.k for some time but the cloud on her face gathered dark and deep. Next day I told the other side about this unhappy incident and was surprized to learn that 'same thing' happened on computer-screen with her son there ,helping her. I wondered and wondered without light . It must be providence or pre-destination . Or I don't know how to explain !
For next one or two weeks , I had great 'Depression ' and wrote a poem on it. I asked her ,- how she was facing it /, she told ,- her son saved her and did not tell his father after listening to his mother's defense urguments ; 'I love you son , I love my husband , I love my mother and if I love a friend how am I a spoilt mother to you. She won her case but I was not lucky. My son left for Chicago in 2 days and we were two devastated sufferers on the stage where I was the worst villain and she the 'cheated soul '!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
AUTOBIOGRAPHY : What was it , - Love ? -VIII
It was kennedys time in U.S.A and Kriushchev's leader-ship in USSR and Cold WAR that forced me to think fast. The impending Issue of Nuclear War was looming large ! wWe were sure that we could die any day by the mis-click of a Nuclear switch and the despair was on almost every informed face . And I wanted to get married , for I wanted to experience life before I died and went to Heaven or Hell,- though both had the same repulsion,then, in me. I was between 26 & 28 ; my parents were not sitting idle and I had no specific demand or choice.
When I was fresh in Medical college my eldest brother was married and youuger sister of his wife was a senior level school girl, beautiful ,daringly bold and reminded me of 'Delailah' of the famous film 'Samson and Delailah' which I saw a few times already, by seling my blood in Blood Bank. I was just an easy prey to her bold jestures but in those days , it was not easy to come close even to relative-girls in our orthodox families. We were in Anid-Blyton phase of Romantic spirit without anymore allowance in oriental set-up of i950s. My brother's In-Laws -side was eager to the prospect of getting me too as a son-in -law (doctor-candidate)and my sister-in law had ,perhaps,initiated this plan . Time rolled by and in theoretical phase of Romantic spirit ,without physical intimacy. Now I was in my final year and they were shifting to Jabbalpore ....and ... one day she came with my eldest brother to my Medical College Hostel to extract my readiness/promise to marry her soon or tell my intention straight.I liked her courage,( UN-thinkabe in those days of Strict Cosevative middle -cass society).
Now I was reborn in me and told her that if she could wait until I passed the final and then did the internship and house -job and got a job, she gets my promise or word of honour ( I always keep my word & promise and everyone in my family knows) but that was a long range - promise of 4-5 years ahead and .... my brother and she walked down the stairs and I looked down to wards a receding 'Lost possibiity '. Soon I learnt that her engagement was almost finaised. Thus the phase ended and she got married within a year or two. But if she could and did wait , I would have kept my promise and that, even my Eldest brother knew very well.
So life & loneliness ,studies with battles in life went on until the next phase in 1960.
When I was fresh in Medical college my eldest brother was married and youuger sister of his wife was a senior level school girl, beautiful ,daringly bold and reminded me of 'Delailah' of the famous film 'Samson and Delailah' which I saw a few times already, by seling my blood in Blood Bank. I was just an easy prey to her bold jestures but in those days , it was not easy to come close even to relative-girls in our orthodox families. We were in Anid-Blyton phase of Romantic spirit without anymore allowance in oriental set-up of i950s. My brother's In-Laws -side was eager to the prospect of getting me too as a son-in -law (doctor-candidate)and my sister-in law had ,perhaps,initiated this plan . Time rolled by and in theoretical phase of Romantic spirit ,without physical intimacy. Now I was in my final year and they were shifting to Jabbalpore ....and ... one day she came with my eldest brother to my Medical College Hostel to extract my readiness/promise to marry her soon or tell my intention straight.I liked her courage,( UN-thinkabe in those days of Strict Cosevative middle -cass society).
Now I was reborn in me and told her that if she could wait until I passed the final and then did the internship and house -job and got a job, she gets my promise or word of honour ( I always keep my word & promise and everyone in my family knows) but that was a long range - promise of 4-5 years ahead and .... my brother and she walked down the stairs and I looked down to wards a receding 'Lost possibiity '. Soon I learnt that her engagement was almost finaised. Thus the phase ended and she got married within a year or two. But if she could and did wait , I would have kept my promise and that, even my Eldest brother knew very well.
So life & loneliness ,studies with battles in life went on until the next phase in 1960.
AUTOBIOGRAPHY : What was it , -Love ? -VII
An unknown feeling was engulfing me . Feeling like, - some ivisible force is pushing me outward with my doors now locked behind. or some field -force designing my destination and I am no more the captain of my own ship,
Like Bernard Shaw's Preface of his famous 'Plays ', the premise of my story is getting longer but I can't help.
In my young days, I wanted to be one like swami Vivekananda .That was like a cripple trying to climb over the tallest mountain . I read Geeta and tried Yoga, a few months, then felt - that I was not made that way but read good lots on Spirituality amd life and works of Swami Vevekananda. I had some good memory and even recited a lot , any time I got a chance. It so happened that without being, even, sincere I got the Frst Division in I.Sc exam too and my father decided my destination by telling me to apply evrywhere - Presidency , Medical college , Engineering and what not! I did not bother a bit.I was so happy with my aim-less journey minus ambition. And ..... yet I became a M.B.B.S doctor and did not know then -why ? !
Then I came to Delhi where my father had his Lodging & boarding house business that fed us and I joined my house -job in Irwin HOspital, Delhi, where a rural youth like me metamorphosed into a smart young man. and I was not any more the docile fool of earlier days.
Like Bernard Shaw's Preface of his famous 'Plays ', the premise of my story is getting longer but I can't help.
In my young days, I wanted to be one like swami Vivekananda .That was like a cripple trying to climb over the tallest mountain . I read Geeta and tried Yoga, a few months, then felt - that I was not made that way but read good lots on Spirituality amd life and works of Swami Vevekananda. I had some good memory and even recited a lot , any time I got a chance. It so happened that without being, even, sincere I got the Frst Division in I.Sc exam too and my father decided my destination by telling me to apply evrywhere - Presidency , Medical college , Engineering and what not! I did not bother a bit.I was so happy with my aim-less journey minus ambition. And ..... yet I became a M.B.B.S doctor and did not know then -why ? !
Then I came to Delhi where my father had his Lodging & boarding house business that fed us and I joined my house -job in Irwin HOspital, Delhi, where a rural youth like me metamorphosed into a smart young man. and I was not any more the docile fool of earlier days.
AUTOBIOGRAPHY : What was it , -Love ? -VI
After about three months she was feeling deserted and wanted to come to Delhi and I was feeing lonely too , struggling against current, with my hard work. She came . We lived so happily under my parents financial support and with my brother's family too. Soon,I felt the weight of the 'last straw' on a Camel's back in financial sense and I discarded the hope of being a Cardiologist , left the study , took up a Central Govt job ,rented a two room shelter and shifted .My earning was now Rs 473/= per month ,spending Rs 80/= then in six month- Rs 130 /= pm. for a better shelter.
So there was nothing shiny in my achievements as worth mentioning but I felt I was a free man of 31 yrs of age , always ambitious but without hope of achieving anything in life.
My teachers were sad and inflated me with the opinion that my thesis was so good and many pubications could come out of it But their opinions too ended like failures of mine . And I wanted to experience life rather than a shining success. I was living and experiencing a Life that could not be found in books or prospects of Medical specialities.
I was a happy man who , as a boy , lived in a remote villege and was now struggling to survive and climb , in Capital City of India.
So there was nothing shiny in my achievements as worth mentioning but I felt I was a free man of 31 yrs of age , always ambitious but without hope of achieving anything in life.
My teachers were sad and inflated me with the opinion that my thesis was so good and many pubications could come out of it But their opinions too ended like failures of mine . And I wanted to experience life rather than a shining success. I was living and experiencing a Life that could not be found in books or prospects of Medical specialities.
I was a happy man who , as a boy , lived in a remote villege and was now struggling to survive and climb , in Capital City of India.
AUTOBIOGRAPHY : What was it , - Love ? -V
I was already 30 + then, had a earthly physical body and was not born to be a Saint. Soon after the thesis, I felt empty and wanted some one in life and that photo of that girl haunted me and I wanted to find out if the sacrifice of a Sofa-Set was worth to balance the gain. .... I came to Calcutta met her in their hosue in front of her mother , saw their , poor financial state by looking at the asbestos roof and cracked wall of the house, came back ,struggled with myself (neither we,- were rich) for quite sometimes and decided to be different' ....and the marriage happened against the will of my parents but with their permission ( for I decalred - I would remain a bachelor for life), -otherwise ).
The marriage happened in an un-usual way as I refused to have a decorated Car for the Groom and also refused to wear a 'Shola-Topi(' Mukut' or crown ) and my parents knew that I was somtimes obsitinate beyond reasoning.
There was an attempt to disrupt my obstinacy with flying letters and gossip of stainted character of both of us . Nothing worked and I got Married and came back in 4 days to Delhi I did not or could not ceebrate the 'Honey-Moon),leaving my wife in Calcutta with my parents and to join my post-Graduate studies with Rs 150/= a month which did not allow me to bring my wife to my side even in those days of 1960s.
The marriage happened in an un-usual way as I refused to have a decorated Car for the Groom and also refused to wear a 'Shola-Topi(' Mukut' or crown ) and my parents knew that I was somtimes obsitinate beyond reasoning.
There was an attempt to disrupt my obstinacy with flying letters and gossip of stainted character of both of us . Nothing worked and I got Married and came back in 4 days to Delhi I did not or could not ceebrate the 'Honey-Moon),leaving my wife in Calcutta with my parents and to join my post-Graduate studies with Rs 150/= a month which did not allow me to bring my wife to my side even in those days of 1960s.
AUTOBIOGRAPHY : What was it , -Love ? -iv
Within next 4 days I had to come to Delhi and I insisted to meet her at her college in front of her colleagues and she agreed. We had even 2 or 3 Taxi- drive sojourn. But one thing we promised together that we will be friends and shall not touch each other in physical passion and we both respected and kept that promise in-spite of storms ahead.
THE STORM
And the storm came ! But even Greek Tragedies need a BUILD - UP and all events in life or outside has its roots beyond. The GEETA Expounds that -' everything that manifests on perceptual Universe comes out of a UN-manifested Root beyond ( geeta -Sl 8/18).
And Greek tragedy tells that real tragedies need neither hero nor villain , for - 'we all are victims of situatuons' - G.B.S.
I was married in 1960, when I was doing my theisis in M.D with Cent Govt Schoarship of Rs 150/= per month and our marrauge was not a love marriage. I liked the face of my wife in a photo which was sent to me after my parents approved and the proposed marriage broke down on the issue of betrothal- gifts (not dowry). My would be father in law was an engineer and suddeny was ill , having hard time . My parents also had no demand but my being a rare specimen of success as M.B.B.S doctor ,in an ordinary family, from a remote vilage set-up to lift me up in my relatives' eyes.
And after the famous famine and more famous Partition ,I came to calcutta as a refugee boy . That inspired our close reatives and influenced my father who was a Boarding -Hose owner in Delhi and while the bride's side had rich heritage and my would be in-law an engineer graduated from England. So the marriage proposal broke down on the issue of one Sofa-set which they ,found beyond their means or principle to provode. So, my chance of getting married fell back to Square one and I got busy with my thesis paper, took the event as a small peice of 'Pradise Lost'.
THE STORM
And the storm came ! But even Greek Tragedies need a BUILD - UP and all events in life or outside has its roots beyond. The GEETA Expounds that -' everything that manifests on perceptual Universe comes out of a UN-manifested Root beyond ( geeta -Sl 8/18).
And Greek tragedy tells that real tragedies need neither hero nor villain , for - 'we all are victims of situatuons' - G.B.S.
I was married in 1960, when I was doing my theisis in M.D with Cent Govt Schoarship of Rs 150/= per month and our marrauge was not a love marriage. I liked the face of my wife in a photo which was sent to me after my parents approved and the proposed marriage broke down on the issue of betrothal- gifts (not dowry). My would be father in law was an engineer and suddeny was ill , having hard time . My parents also had no demand but my being a rare specimen of success as M.B.B.S doctor ,in an ordinary family, from a remote vilage set-up to lift me up in my relatives' eyes.
And after the famous famine and more famous Partition ,I came to calcutta as a refugee boy . That inspired our close reatives and influenced my father who was a Boarding -Hose owner in Delhi and while the bride's side had rich heritage and my would be in-law an engineer graduated from England. So the marriage proposal broke down on the issue of one Sofa-set which they ,found beyond their means or principle to provode. So, my chance of getting married fell back to Square one and I got busy with my thesis paper, took the event as a small peice of 'Pradise Lost'.
AUTO-BIOGRAPHY : What was it , - Love ? -III
She came in the afternoon with her books . and we sat ont he floor, on a mat and started talking about poetry. As the host had no interest in peetry we two were both speakers and isteners. Of course, as my nature was, I was talking more, trying to prove my worth in a field that was her domain. I recited a long poem of mine and found her wiping off her tears. I never could think that she was, emotionally so soft. I was ,a bit, confused and uncertain . Anyway time slipped fast and it was deep evening out side. The host was around or outside and was getting ready to go for a Puja in neighbour's house . For next ten minutes they both weere discussing how she should go home that was half a mile far. They wee discussing it loud without deciding . I did not know that the servant in the house was not found fit for the job ( as this was my second of the short visits) . At last , as courtsey demanded,I offered to escort her and they both agreed, to my surprise.
We came out on the road and were walking and then I could not help asking - why she wept listening to my poetry recital. She replied straight and clear - 'I don't know'.
That was the catch. We talked and walked ; walked and talked and then betrayed our stand that we liked each other. She asked me about my wife and I told. I asked her about her husband, she told that she could not have a bette rhusband ! And we were merged in silence for some time and admitted that we were on a bump ...... At last I gathered my soul and told - 'I have my weaknesses but see, I am not born to destroy a good husband's family and you ?. She courageously looked at me , smiled and asked -what will your wife think , if she knows about our liking each other . I took some times and told - I don't know but we have managed to sail together so long, for more than 40 years... And we walked easy in silence and darkess around and reached her house, hand in hand and on my request.
We came out on the road and were walking and then I could not help asking - why she wept listening to my poetry recital. She replied straight and clear - 'I don't know'.
That was the catch. We talked and walked ; walked and talked and then betrayed our stand that we liked each other. She asked me about my wife and I told. I asked her about her husband, she told that she could not have a bette rhusband ! And we were merged in silence for some time and admitted that we were on a bump ...... At last I gathered my soul and told - 'I have my weaknesses but see, I am not born to destroy a good husband's family and you ?. She courageously looked at me , smiled and asked -what will your wife think , if she knows about our liking each other . I took some times and told - I don't know but we have managed to sail together so long, for more than 40 years... And we walked easy in silence and darkess around and reached her house, hand in hand and on my request.
AUTO-BIOGRAPHY: What was it , - love ? -II
WHAT WAS IT , -LOVE ? II
After lunch we sat together and talked about Cacutta , Delhi , C R.park and what not! Naturally the pleasant surprise of her being a lecturer on bengali and her being also a poet raised lot of interest in me and the host's eloquence and lavish praise of me in Medicine , Visual Art and poetry, including my exhibitions and pubished books, coloured my position and poise so much that I had to recite a poem of mine and also presented a copy of my book. The incidence was nothing special and so many times in my journey through life, similar things happened with me.elsewhere, and must have happened with others of similar job and hobbies,
That was that and next morning the host was out and I got a phone call from from this lady asking me all pleasant question of my poetry books, pubications and I , also, wanted to know about her latest poems etc. ...Nothing new happened for one or two days except my personal habit of walking in the morning for more than an hour and scan the area around . It so happened that , in my long walk , once I covered her area also and mentioned it to her . She was surprised and got interested to know if it was real and when I gave a good description of the place, she was audibly happy and thanked me for visiting their place and invited me to visit their house if I went that side again. She had two children and both in their higher secondary standard.. Next day I had to visit a town 20 miles far and her house was on the way . As she wanted other copies of my books, I carried them and visited her place , I met her husband first , introduced mysef and handed over to him the books telling him all the reason of my visit. He was so nice and kind and took me inside , introduced me to his mother and requested me to take a seat ant went in to inform his wife. She came out soon without cosmetic- or ad-ups (I liked that) and the books were then given to her. Within four or five minutes and before I left for my fixed appointment I asked her to come, that afternoon, with her books of poems for a litrary sitting along with the host, all talks were in front of her husband who , it seemed approved all with magnificent smile and approval, And I stepped out and she walked upto the Rickshaw stand.
After lunch we sat together and talked about Cacutta , Delhi , C R.park and what not! Naturally the pleasant surprise of her being a lecturer on bengali and her being also a poet raised lot of interest in me and the host's eloquence and lavish praise of me in Medicine , Visual Art and poetry, including my exhibitions and pubished books, coloured my position and poise so much that I had to recite a poem of mine and also presented a copy of my book. The incidence was nothing special and so many times in my journey through life, similar things happened with me.elsewhere, and must have happened with others of similar job and hobbies,
That was that and next morning the host was out and I got a phone call from from this lady asking me all pleasant question of my poetry books, pubications and I , also, wanted to know about her latest poems etc. ...Nothing new happened for one or two days except my personal habit of walking in the morning for more than an hour and scan the area around . It so happened that , in my long walk , once I covered her area also and mentioned it to her . She was surprised and got interested to know if it was real and when I gave a good description of the place, she was audibly happy and thanked me for visiting their place and invited me to visit their house if I went that side again. She had two children and both in their higher secondary standard.. Next day I had to visit a town 20 miles far and her house was on the way . As she wanted other copies of my books, I carried them and visited her place , I met her husband first , introduced mysef and handed over to him the books telling him all the reason of my visit. He was so nice and kind and took me inside , introduced me to his mother and requested me to take a seat ant went in to inform his wife. She came out soon without cosmetic- or ad-ups (I liked that) and the books were then given to her. Within four or five minutes and before I left for my fixed appointment I asked her to come, that afternoon, with her books of poems for a litrary sitting along with the host, all talks were in front of her husband who , it seemed approved all with magnificent smile and approval, And I stepped out and she walked upto the Rickshaw stand.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
AUTO-BIOGRAPHY: What was it , -Love ? - I-
What was it , - love ?
It was 21st Century and I was aging more between 70 and 72 ( 2 years span between my my recorded and actual age.).I was living in USA with my family and a builder was constructing a 4-floor buiding in C.R .Park . Dehi, India , demolishing my three-decade old house and my belongings shifted to a rented groud floor Flat in F-block of CRpark.I came to India - alone for a moth's social visit and to know about the mode & speed of construction' on my plot.
It was April -time and I made a 7-days visit to calcutta as a guest to a lady who was a teacher, a friend of my wife and our tenant , all at the same time. I reached Calcutta by Rajdhani by 11-30 am, took the taxi and reached Salt Lake at about 1 pm. ..found the beautiful house ..got down and rang the bell. ...'who is it ? ' was the querey from with in and the response - ' decoit'- my old habit- response . She was iving there alone , a widow and her son in USA..She opened the window saw me and made a 'sweet -soft laugh' and said - wel come Dr. basu.'...there was another faminine voice beyond my sight ( may be a friend) .The house-keeper , a lady, unocked the gate and I walked straight to my room where I was once before for 2-3 days... And pushing in my carry-on luggage somewhere in the room and in a few minutes came out to meet my wiffe's friend ,our tenant ,and always -helpful lady for 12 years. After a few minutes & exchanges of informations she adressed the lady whose voice I heard at the gate and asked her to coome out.....And she came out , a lady of 40+. , soft and light Indian tropical skin (light -tanned) and spectacle. ' she is ...---(name) and like my daughter', a lecturer in Begali in -----------College and heard a lot from me about you'. We laughed in chorus said 'namashker' and with instant interest, as my habit enquired ---You are a Lecturer in Bengai, my gracious god, -what a good luck for me to know , for I am a literary-addict and must have heard from her (host) that I am a quack doctor . The host protested loud with gesture and told - 'she knows well about what you are and that you are a poet and artist too . and there wa a soft chorus of laughter from all sides ,
The host immediately ordered 'enough time reamins to talk more . Now take your bath ant get ready for lunch ..we all are hungry '' That was an apt decision and I got up from my seat and went to my room as i was really hungry.
It was 21st Century and I was aging more between 70 and 72 ( 2 years span between my my recorded and actual age.).I was living in USA with my family and a builder was constructing a 4-floor buiding in C.R .Park . Dehi, India , demolishing my three-decade old house and my belongings shifted to a rented groud floor Flat in F-block of CRpark.I came to India - alone for a moth's social visit and to know about the mode & speed of construction' on my plot.
It was April -time and I made a 7-days visit to calcutta as a guest to a lady who was a teacher, a friend of my wife and our tenant , all at the same time. I reached Calcutta by Rajdhani by 11-30 am, took the taxi and reached Salt Lake at about 1 pm. ..found the beautiful house ..got down and rang the bell. ...'who is it ? ' was the querey from with in and the response - ' decoit'- my old habit- response . She was iving there alone , a widow and her son in USA..She opened the window saw me and made a 'sweet -soft laugh' and said - wel come Dr. basu.'...there was another faminine voice beyond my sight ( may be a friend) .The house-keeper , a lady, unocked the gate and I walked straight to my room where I was once before for 2-3 days... And pushing in my carry-on luggage somewhere in the room and in a few minutes came out to meet my wiffe's friend ,our tenant ,and always -helpful lady for 12 years. After a few minutes & exchanges of informations she adressed the lady whose voice I heard at the gate and asked her to coome out.....And she came out , a lady of 40+. , soft and light Indian tropical skin (light -tanned) and spectacle. ' she is ...---(name) and like my daughter', a lecturer in Begali in -----------College and heard a lot from me about you'. We laughed in chorus said 'namashker' and with instant interest, as my habit enquired ---You are a Lecturer in Bengai, my gracious god, -what a good luck for me to know , for I am a literary-addict and must have heard from her (host) that I am a quack doctor . The host protested loud with gesture and told - 'she knows well about what you are and that you are a poet and artist too . and there wa a soft chorus of laughter from all sides ,
The host immediately ordered 'enough time reamins to talk more . Now take your bath ant get ready for lunch ..we all are hungry '' That was an apt decision and I got up from my seat and went to my room as i was really hungry.
SILENCE
It speaks so loud -
-sometimes
as if nothing else remauns around
or beyond
and I take a dive within me
to find
who you are and -
where from do you speak
within me
and to know
how to respond alike
( Composed just now)
-sometimes
as if nothing else remauns around
or beyond
and I take a dive within me
to find
who you are and -
where from do you speak
within me
and to know
how to respond alike
( Composed just now)
THE SKY
Who made it ! - and how ?
So cerulean transparent blue for my eyes
yet so jet- black all beyond
enclosing Erernity
with Dirac's Nothingness
and over more
within billions and billions of distant stars
Light-years far
hanging in Space by themselves
Only awe and dumb silence
within me
bends down , like prayer
to know, -
Thy magic game
and how could you make it grow
with your Time and Space !{just composed )
So cerulean transparent blue for my eyes
yet so jet- black all beyond
enclosing Erernity
with Dirac's Nothingness
and over more
within billions and billions of distant stars
Light-years far
hanging in Space by themselves
Only awe and dumb silence
within me
bends down , like prayer
to know, -
Thy magic game
and how could you make it grow
with your Time and Space !{just composed )
Sunday, September 12, 2010
ANSWERING HAWKING
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 12, 2010
COSMIC SONG or GRAND DESIGN
"Eimentary watson , - Elimentary" -Sherock holmre.
'Grand Design ' is absurd without A DESIGNER or FIRST CAUSE, Just as Homosapien would be ABSENT without the First African Mother; yet the succeeding generations breed on with the GENETIC INVOLVEMENT OF THE FIRST AFRICAN MOTHER ( FIRST cCAUSE) and we are multiplying !.
'Brief History of the World' ( Grand Design) needed the Grand DESIGNER, Stephen Hawking, or the First Cause, while the subsequent printings and Editions are done without his further actions because he is himelf involved in it ( books are Breeding Like Rats).
So ! Hawking is right halfway but wrong if he declares 'The GRAND DESIGN ' without the First DESIGNER . As, BRIEf HISTORY of the World becomes Absurd without the first involment of Hawking ( for copy right).
So the REALITY is INVOLVMENT AND MANIFESTATION and not CREATION. HAWKING did not Create the material supply of the Book i.e Paper, Print, Ink, press, Ads etc, etc, etc .For Creation , one has to borrow from Outside.
Now His Book is 'breeding like Rats' and the message in the book would be just aphabets and dots without his first INVOLVEMENT.
So it is 'Eementary watson'!
The First Cause (without belly Button ) didnot CREATE the Universe but got involved and became MANIFESTED like your electrons in an atom or 'Strings' with its Mother-energy. That much simple and yet most difficult !
posted by Phani Basu @ 4:30 AM 0 comments
COSMIC SONG or GRAND DESIGN
"Eimentary watson , - Elimentary" -Sherock holmre.
'Grand Design ' is absurd without A DESIGNER or FIRST CAUSE, Just as Homosapien would be ABSENT without the First African Mother; yet the succeeding generations breed on with the GENETIC INVOLVEMENT OF THE FIRST AFRICAN MOTHER ( FIRST cCAUSE) and we are multiplying !.
'Brief History of the World' ( Grand Design) needed the Grand DESIGNER, Stephen Hawking, or the First Cause, while the subsequent printings and Editions are done without his further actions because he is himelf involved in it ( books are Breeding Like Rats).
So ! Hawking is right halfway but wrong if he declares 'The GRAND DESIGN ' without the First DESIGNER . As, BRIEf HISTORY of the World becomes Absurd without the first involment of Hawking ( for copy right).
So the REALITY is INVOLVMENT AND MANIFESTATION and not CREATION. HAWKING did not Create the material supply of the Book i.e Paper, Print, Ink, press, Ads etc, etc, etc .For Creation , one has to borrow from Outside.
Now His Book is 'breeding like Rats' and the message in the book would be just aphabets and dots without his first INVOLVEMENT.
So it is 'Eementary watson'!
The First Cause (without belly Button ) didnot CREATE the Universe but got involved and became MANIFESTED like your electrons in an atom or 'Strings' with its Mother-energy. That much simple and yet most difficult !
posted by Phani Basu @ 4:30 AM 0 comments
Friday, September 10, 2010
TEMPES - MOSQUE _- CHURCH
RIGHT QUESTION - MY ANSWER
" IF YOU CAN BUILD HINDU TEMPLE WHY NOT MOSQUE" - OBAMA [Times Of India , 12, Sept., '10]
====================================================
COMMENT :YES , WHY NOT. BUT WHY HINDU TEMPLE ALSO ?t Is it to inflate RELIGIOUS & STRUCTURAL BIGOTRY ? ?
HINDU IS REALLY NOT A RELIGION BUT AN INVADER'S SLANG ( PERSIA) IMPOSED UPON THE ETHNIC POPULATION OF SINDHU ( INDUS VALLEY) CIVILLISATION.
SWAMI VIVEKANANDA , MORE THAN 100 YEARS BACK, ADVOCATED TO PEOPLE OF THE LAND OF BHARAT [India- this word is also a Grrek Slang] to call themselves SANATANIST or VAIDANTIK.
(But thr 'SLAVE-HABIT ' DIE HARD ! EVEN After Independence , the So called 'Copy- Cat Indians' feel so much PROUD of the 'feather' BOLLY -WOOD ' like the proverb of a crow putting on another bigger BIRD's feather !)
Posted by Phani Basu at 9:50 PM 0 comments
" IF YOU CAN BUILD HINDU TEMPLE WHY NOT MOSQUE" - OBAMA [Times Of India , 12, Sept., '10]
====================================================
COMMENT :YES , WHY NOT. BUT WHY HINDU TEMPLE ALSO ?t Is it to inflate RELIGIOUS & STRUCTURAL BIGOTRY ? ?
HINDU IS REALLY NOT A RELIGION BUT AN INVADER'S SLANG ( PERSIA) IMPOSED UPON THE ETHNIC POPULATION OF SINDHU ( INDUS VALLEY) CIVILLISATION.
SWAMI VIVEKANANDA , MORE THAN 100 YEARS BACK, ADVOCATED TO PEOPLE OF THE LAND OF BHARAT [India- this word is also a Grrek Slang] to call themselves SANATANIST or VAIDANTIK.
(But thr 'SLAVE-HABIT ' DIE HARD ! EVEN After Independence , the So called 'Copy- Cat Indians' feel so much PROUD of the 'feather' BOLLY -WOOD ' like the proverb of a crow putting on another bigger BIRD's feather !)
Posted by Phani Basu at 9:50 PM 0 comments
Monday, August 23, 2010
DEMOCRACY . THERE and HERE
BHARAT. NOT INDIA, NOT HINDUSTAN
BHARAT ('India' - 'Hindustan' are Invaders 'Slang'
Monday, August 23, 2010
DEMOCRACY . THERE and HERE
DEMOCRACY I think, is the highest form of Socio-Political Structure of a Nation where 100 % people are Democrat and where you need mo 'Police man ' on the street and evry one lives on Equity basis . It is almost Utopian / Platonic and exists nowhere.
Even COMMUNISM of MARXIAN ideal is as good as DEMOCRACY and relativistic-way more feasable but with the indispensible induction of POLICE-Man to activate and maintain.
In the present World , , there is nowhere TRUE COMMUNISM nor DEMOCRACY.
U.S.A is some where near the middle of the Ladder not becuse they are better men but because America is 4 times the size , with one-fourth POPULATION of INDIA[ Like a milionair's son who can throw out money wiyhout being Philanthropic].
At no time of the WORLD , all nations will be Democratic or Communistic . It is not the PLAN OF NATURE [or Life-Principle] and this is COMMON-SENSE (never common).
One point more, If in INDIA's Past, RAMACHANDRA had DEMOCRACY and his famous followers were allowed a Parliamentary Way, -well, I don't know or dare to expand the issue !
Posted by Phani Basu at 6:30 PM 0 comments
BHARAT ('India' - 'Hindustan' are Invaders 'Slang'
Monday, August 23, 2010
DEMOCRACY . THERE and HERE
DEMOCRACY I think, is the highest form of Socio-Political Structure of a Nation where 100 % people are Democrat and where you need mo 'Police man ' on the street and evry one lives on Equity basis . It is almost Utopian / Platonic and exists nowhere.
Even COMMUNISM of MARXIAN ideal is as good as DEMOCRACY and relativistic-way more feasable but with the indispensible induction of POLICE-Man to activate and maintain.
In the present World , , there is nowhere TRUE COMMUNISM nor DEMOCRACY.
U.S.A is some where near the middle of the Ladder not becuse they are better men but because America is 4 times the size , with one-fourth POPULATION of INDIA[ Like a milionair's son who can throw out money wiyhout being Philanthropic].
At no time of the WORLD , all nations will be Democratic or Communistic . It is not the PLAN OF NATURE [or Life-Principle] and this is COMMON-SENSE (never common).
One point more, If in INDIA's Past, RAMACHANDRA had DEMOCRACY and his famous followers were allowed a Parliamentary Way, -well, I don't know or dare to expand the issue !
Posted by Phani Basu at 6:30 PM 0 comments
Friday, August 20, 2010
WHO WAS OUR 'FIRST' FATHER ?
Scientists have identified OUR [Human Race as a whole] Mitichodrial FIRST MOTHER ! Great and Good !
But WHO was or were our FATHER/FATHERS.
By the TREND this MAMMON-IK HUman Race is moving FORWARD[ (?)BACKWARD ], I think, like DRAUPADI of MAHABHARATA [had 5/6 Husbands],We had 5/6 'First Fathers'. They are : [GOOD , BAD , UGLY, MAMMON-IKE , DEMONOC and CANINE-HYBRID .
" Now is the winter' of SENSUAL thirst and Greed ! [Synthetic Shakespeare ]
It means the Mammon & Canine Siblings are gaining 'upper hand' status before final 'Disolution' or LALI-YUG !
There are dozens of Informations in my file to support my thesis.
Let some great scientist/ Sharlock Holmes take up the 'SEARCH'.
But WHO was or were our FATHER/FATHERS.
By the TREND this MAMMON-IK HUman Race is moving FORWARD[ (?)BACKWARD ], I think, like DRAUPADI of MAHABHARATA [had 5/6 Husbands],We had 5/6 'First Fathers'. They are : [GOOD , BAD , UGLY, MAMMON-IKE , DEMONOC and CANINE-HYBRID .
" Now is the winter' of SENSUAL thirst and Greed ! [Synthetic Shakespeare ]
It means the Mammon & Canine Siblings are gaining 'upper hand' status before final 'Disolution' or LALI-YUG !
There are dozens of Informations in my file to support my thesis.
Let some great scientist/ Sharlock Holmes take up the 'SEARCH'.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
MY POEM
Rises from my soul like ,- Incense-burn
or curls up like a creeper
with twists and turn
spreading fragrance ,float or fly
as if, my words -
are all doves or aspiring birds
with spread out wings
for some mystic flight
to an ethereal unknown cerulean Sky !
(Written on this screen, just now)
or curls up like a creeper
with twists and turn
spreading fragrance ,float or fly
as if, my words -
are all doves or aspiring birds
with spread out wings
for some mystic flight
to an ethereal unknown cerulean Sky !
(Written on this screen, just now)
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
MY POEM
ATOMIC WAR
NUCLEAR WAR OR FINAL FLASH
Ladies and gentle men ,
you all bother so much , -but why ?
Now with finishing touch
tha Giants and minors - have set the Stage.
After the NEUTRON WAR
no to-morrow will you see again
The Neutron Bomb
has codensed the life of you and all
within a Nuclear switch
a split -second Touch, - the click and tick
of some Political whim
shall wipe off all life-, -on this Earth
So ! why you strife and for what ?
To day
try in whatever way
there won't be another day.
Plead or praty , they're all in vain
the Demonic Ego ,now, can not stop
and after the Neutron -drop
the Sun will rise
but not for you or me
the World shal ,in split second, a Grave-yard be
Human race shall die -the ' Unified -Death'
and after the UNIQUE Flash
no one to survive, to Desire or to Clash!
_____________________
[Was composed in bengali in late 1960s and transcreated in Eng lish in !980s ; now edited]
posted by phani basu at 6:13 pm 0 comments
NUCLEAR WAR OR FINAL FLASH
Ladies and gentle men ,
you all bother so much , -but why ?
Now with finishing touch
tha Giants and minors - have set the Stage.
After the NEUTRON WAR
no to-morrow will you see again
The Neutron Bomb
has codensed the life of you and all
within a Nuclear switch
a split -second Touch, - the click and tick
of some Political whim
shall wipe off all life-, -on this Earth
So ! why you strife and for what ?
To day
try in whatever way
there won't be another day.
Plead or praty , they're all in vain
the Demonic Ego ,now, can not stop
and after the Neutron -drop
the Sun will rise
but not for you or me
the World shal ,in split second, a Grave-yard be
Human race shall die -the ' Unified -Death'
and after the UNIQUE Flash
no one to survive, to Desire or to Clash!
_____________________
[Was composed in bengali in late 1960s and transcreated in Eng lish in !980s ; now edited]
posted by phani basu at 6:13 pm 0 comments
Sunday, August 8, 2010
ONCE , THAT WAS --------!
Once -that was a time and when
I could make any temptation , stand and wait
at the cross-road -life of mine, while
holding your hand , -I said
let us voyage or swim ,as this is our time !
You indexed far away to distant star, twinkling bright
I was not afraid nor did hesitate once - and because
that was another life and time ,
so , any temptation could stand and wait
at any of my cross-road -life.
And to day
as I try to climb , slip down or sweat
your foot prints. there, fade away soon!
yet , I remember, there was time, -when
I could command my other pleasures - 'wait'
on cross-road-life there and hold
your bird-feather hand and return a smile !
I could make any temptation , stand and wait
at the cross-road -life of mine, while
holding your hand , -I said
let us voyage or swim ,as this is our time !
You indexed far away to distant star, twinkling bright
I was not afraid nor did hesitate once - and because
that was another life and time ,
so , any temptation could stand and wait
at any of my cross-road -life.
And to day
as I try to climb , slip down or sweat
your foot prints. there, fade away soon!
yet , I remember, there was time, -when
I could command my other pleasures - 'wait'
on cross-road-life there and hold
your bird-feather hand and return a smile !
BEFORE THE CURTAIN DROPS
Walk back slow - from the Stage
the foot- loght dims
return, now to green room
All make-up on face, the transplanted paints
the mask or that camouflage-glow
or out-sourced pigments , -on the cheeks
Wash them off to come back - clean.
Undress then ; dropp off all dressing -game
or borrowed cream.
Now, if you can, come out again
with naked courage
down to the foot-light - where
the dispersing audience , drugged with words or dazed
and eager to leave .
And you too
take the easy poise and stand, ,-facing all
speak from inside-heart ---
' i am not acting , anymore now ,-or
talking from script
I am the real man , -from within.
______________
the foot- loght dims
return, now to green room
All make-up on face, the transplanted paints
the mask or that camouflage-glow
or out-sourced pigments , -on the cheeks
Wash them off to come back - clean.
Undress then ; dropp off all dressing -game
or borrowed cream.
Now, if you can, come out again
with naked courage
down to the foot-light - where
the dispersing audience , drugged with words or dazed
and eager to leave .
And you too
take the easy poise and stand, ,-facing all
speak from inside-heart ---
' i am not acting , anymore now ,-or
talking from script
I am the real man , -from within.
______________
Saturday, August 7, 2010
COUNT - DOWN BEGINS
For the Globe
the Count-down starts
as 'REVELATION 'told, or Science predicts
or VEDANTA said four
thousands or , more years back
Or , it may, - like Cloud-burst that happened in Leh
or like Tsunami-s of the World - all inified
and with inflated Oceans - drowning the Earth.
No more chance to make -'Noah's Arc'.
OR, -with smoke- screen ,thick by whch Mosscow suffers now
Biblical-Death riding , White Horse and intense fire
million-times that of Hiroshima -death
thousand of Nucelar stars raining down
or your Scientific Black-hole , - Crunch
or like Kali-yug of VEDIC Songs!
Why tremble , dear, or buckle down
It will be only the Collective DEATH
with Suoer-glow - exit togethe, all
as decided by DIVINE -otherwise
By you the self-willed Conscious MAN..
posted by phani basu at 9:18 pm
the Count-down starts
as 'REVELATION 'told, or Science predicts
or VEDANTA said four
thousands or , more years back
Or , it may, - like Cloud-burst that happened in Leh
or like Tsunami-s of the World - all inified
and with inflated Oceans - drowning the Earth.
No more chance to make -'Noah's Arc'.
OR, -with smoke- screen ,thick by whch Mosscow suffers now
Biblical-Death riding , White Horse and intense fire
million-times that of Hiroshima -death
thousand of Nucelar stars raining down
or your Scientific Black-hole , - Crunch
or like Kali-yug of VEDIC Songs!
Why tremble , dear, or buckle down
It will be only the Collective DEATH
with Suoer-glow - exit togethe, all
as decided by DIVINE -otherwise
By you the self-willed Conscious MAN..
posted by phani basu at 9:18 pm
NUCLEAR OLYMPIC : THE 'FINAL ' STARTS
NUCLEAR WAR - the Final show
Count-Down started - and ,any when, now
Fire- works begin
Both groups have,really,- more than enough !
Why you bother so much !
Let half the World starve or cry
for a single meal or hunger thrive
or milion die ;even more ?- so what !
Do not not get disturbed by warning signs
or skeletal shapes of babies - everywhere .
The Nuclear Olympic is at the door
the unrivalled Game for either side !
Some reflex act or automatic Switch
Some Super-brain-reflex or electronic Clsh
some forgotten measure or inciting slip
and ,then like Lightning- Flash
shall light up the Globe and sky above
and Next?
None to know ,as no one shall remain
to report - or witness
the NUCLEAR -OLYMPIC GAME - or Aftermath.
posted by phani basu at 6:30 pm 0 comments { composed on August, 8 ;2010 ,IST)
Count-Down started - and ,any when, now
Fire- works begin
Both groups have,really,- more than enough !
Why you bother so much !
Let half the World starve or cry
for a single meal or hunger thrive
or milion die ;even more ?- so what !
Do not not get disturbed by warning signs
or skeletal shapes of babies - everywhere .
The Nuclear Olympic is at the door
the unrivalled Game for either side !
Some reflex act or automatic Switch
Some Super-brain-reflex or electronic Clsh
some forgotten measure or inciting slip
and ,then like Lightning- Flash
shall light up the Globe and sky above
and Next?
None to know ,as no one shall remain
to report - or witness
the NUCLEAR -OLYMPIC GAME - or Aftermath.
posted by phani basu at 6:30 pm 0 comments { composed on August, 8 ;2010 ,IST)
REMEMBERING " HIROSHIMA "
SATURDAY, AUGUST 7, 2010
REMEMBERING " HIROSHIMA "
WAR :DEATH AND AFTERMATH
[Remembering HIROSHIMA of Post WORLD WAR II]
The War ,at last, ends
Whichever way now look
deaths in thosands dis-membered , burnt
charred or crushed
all around dwellings are turned to ash
as the WAR does end.
Whether a Victor or Victim , now
you repent and weep , the either side
Now you sign for peace
now you want to wash clean , -with helpess tears
you the victor or the sufferring victim -find
the Demonic War does end.
Better, take your stock or- count and feel
all around the dead, and melting mounds
the maggots, countless crowd and crawl
patrify or pitrify all your hopes and dreams
whether you win or lose
only the warring Stage does win in final count
You both and all your allies are
only the actors or pawns
on the Stge of WAR AND DEATH !
{written on 10/11/75 in Bengai, Transpirated on 07/08/2010]
POSTED BY PHANI BASU AT 4:34 AM 0 COMMENTS
REMEMBERING " HIROSHIMA "
WAR :DEATH AND AFTERMATH
[Remembering HIROSHIMA of Post WORLD WAR II]
The War ,at last, ends
Whichever way now look
deaths in thosands dis-membered , burnt
charred or crushed
all around dwellings are turned to ash
as the WAR does end.
Whether a Victor or Victim , now
you repent and weep , the either side
Now you sign for peace
now you want to wash clean , -with helpess tears
you the victor or the sufferring victim -find
the Demonic War does end.
Better, take your stock or- count and feel
all around the dead, and melting mounds
the maggots, countless crowd and crawl
patrify or pitrify all your hopes and dreams
whether you win or lose
only the warring Stage does win in final count
You both and all your allies are
only the actors or pawns
on the Stge of WAR AND DEATH !
{written on 10/11/75 in Bengai, Transpirated on 07/08/2010]
POSTED BY PHANI BASU AT 4:34 AM 0 COMMENTS
DEATH - IS A LIE
Death is a lie
I, now, know - I shall not die
It is a 'play - the unique myriad whim of Divine.
There is no Death , -only change or transcendence
or some endless re-cycling device of re-appearance
That singular 'Player' ,step by step, descends
under the whim of that only ONE !
who himself is trapped by SELF-Design -like
where the Sun-rises,there it sets again.
That lone player designed to play ITS game
with endless mystic points of conscious move
where no one dies - and because
it is a singular Dream that never breaks 1
That you were born , - is also a Lie
you are also the descending ray and Conscious part
of that Game !
Desire to rise, - or climb beyond ?
Return to thyself and rest within
without noise or movemrnt but only contemplate .
[Trans-created today from original Bengali poem composed on 03/08/2001]
I, now, know - I shall not die
It is a 'play - the unique myriad whim of Divine.
There is no Death , -only change or transcendence
or some endless re-cycling device of re-appearance
That singular 'Player' ,step by step, descends
under the whim of that only ONE !
who himself is trapped by SELF-Design -like
where the Sun-rises,there it sets again.
That lone player designed to play ITS game
with endless mystic points of conscious move
where no one dies - and because
it is a singular Dream that never breaks 1
That you were born , - is also a Lie
you are also the descending ray and Conscious part
of that Game !
Desire to rise, - or climb beyond ?
Return to thyself and rest within
without noise or movemrnt but only contemplate .
[Trans-created today from original Bengali poem composed on 03/08/2001]
Thursday, August 5, 2010
WHERE AM I !
Where am I and whom to ask ask
no one around and walking alone!
Oh , tired mind better stop now here
and recapitulate all once more .
Where is thy goal and whom thou seek
do you know it well ?
Why ,so much desire within thee
and look yet so a-thirst ?
The on-going Journey stretched beyond
No , it's not, - a fancy 'Doll's house'
Born with a 'cry'; and stretched, strained life
in experiencjng it is - they fulfilment.
The horizon too, looks eagerly beyond
as if it's also much confused
wher is that end - thy 'El-dorado' !
Al-aroud is only 'Void' , Contemplate my soul.
[composed in Begali( a song )in 1970s and transcreated into a poem today]
no one around and walking alone!
Oh , tired mind better stop now here
and recapitulate all once more .
Where is thy goal and whom thou seek
do you know it well ?
Why ,so much desire within thee
and look yet so a-thirst ?
The on-going Journey stretched beyond
No , it's not, - a fancy 'Doll's house'
Born with a 'cry'; and stretched, strained life
in experiencjng it is - they fulfilment.
The horizon too, looks eagerly beyond
as if it's also much confused
wher is that end - thy 'El-dorado' !
Al-aroud is only 'Void' , Contemplate my soul.
[composed in Begali( a song )in 1970s and transcreated into a poem today]
Friday, July 30, 2010
RAM-RAJYA TO RAVANA'S LANKA
With my whole-life's lengthy experience , I saw it, experienced it and lived it.
From GANDHI's dream and culmination in 1947 unto now, an 'inflated' wealthy NATION of 2010 (India) where Rs 35 -crores Common weath Game as a Gala show is being born ! - progress,of course !!
In RAMACHANDRA's Ayodhya,Even the Royals had to walk on foot unto his self-imposed Exile on moral Promise. Yet, at that very time, Ravana's Lanka was a City of gold [swarna-Lanka) with abundant Mammon-ik pomp and pleasure and Ravana enjoyed the earthy pleasure, even a chariot.
Now in 21st Century, India is a juvenile Economic giant ,with Atomic arsenals,Dwell Currency( some white money and more black ),with media supremacy and sex-virus from Governer to DGPs and achieving Poiticians , 'Black-currency' flowing like monsoon -Flood, and Corruption the National habit, contrasting 45 % starvation, 55 % poverty(UN-Report). Bundhs, roadblocks, STRIKEs ,every week and Train Accidents at the whim or pleasure of Poitical Groups.
And treating Pariament as some 'Lions-club' for past-time resort for Politicians with Media- exposure to compete 'Bolly-wood hits', magnifying moles to Mountains, while hiding 70 lac Crores of Rs - Black Money in Swiss bank and treating it as a non-issue.
Yes it started for a Ram -Rajya(1947) and now heading for a RAVANA's SWARNA LANKA !with Mammon's idea and sensex -dream and hormonik-Sex and Corruption -hype in every lanes between 'RAJ- PATHs' & 'JAN- PATHs' ......WHAT A METAMORPHOSIS ! !
From GANDHI's dream and culmination in 1947 unto now, an 'inflated' wealthy NATION of 2010 (India) where Rs 35 -crores Common weath Game as a Gala show is being born ! - progress,of course !!
In RAMACHANDRA's Ayodhya,Even the Royals had to walk on foot unto his self-imposed Exile on moral Promise. Yet, at that very time, Ravana's Lanka was a City of gold [swarna-Lanka) with abundant Mammon-ik pomp and pleasure and Ravana enjoyed the earthy pleasure, even a chariot.
Now in 21st Century, India is a juvenile Economic giant ,with Atomic arsenals,Dwell Currency( some white money and more black ),with media supremacy and sex-virus from Governer to DGPs and achieving Poiticians , 'Black-currency' flowing like monsoon -Flood, and Corruption the National habit, contrasting 45 % starvation, 55 % poverty(UN-Report). Bundhs, roadblocks, STRIKEs ,every week and Train Accidents at the whim or pleasure of Poitical Groups.
And treating Pariament as some 'Lions-club' for past-time resort for Politicians with Media- exposure to compete 'Bolly-wood hits', magnifying moles to Mountains, while hiding 70 lac Crores of Rs - Black Money in Swiss bank and treating it as a non-issue.
Yes it started for a Ram -Rajya(1947) and now heading for a RAVANA's SWARNA LANKA !with Mammon's idea and sensex -dream and hormonik-Sex and Corruption -hype in every lanes between 'RAJ- PATHs' & 'JAN- PATHs' ......WHAT A METAMORPHOSIS ! !
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
MY POEM
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
AUDIENCE
In my younger days
with poetic Zeal
and youthful passion
I recited my poems
so many times
to gathered-up -listless
good deaf crowd
who clapped to inspire, me
on signalled -time
and that -
I remember yet.
Posted by Phani Basu at 6:54 PM 0 comments
AUDIENCE
In my younger days
with poetic Zeal
and youthful passion
I recited my poems
so many times
to gathered-up -listless
good deaf crowd
who clapped to inspire, me
on signalled -time
and that -
I remember yet.
Posted by Phani Basu at 6:54 PM 0 comments
From BEGINING TO UNCERTAINTY
First 15 yers of my life in Remote VIllage since 1931....No trace of modern life but full of joy on the lap of MOTHER-Nature. Next 7 years , as a misfit boy of Metropol in Calcutta for EDUCATION.
Next 37 years in DELHI,India,to Earn, build Family-life and live it.
Next 16 years in U.S.A in Post-Retirement Joy with grown- Up and settling -Children and crawling Grand- children along with Post-Retirement experience(world-wide) and learning Vedandta & cosmology.
Last Act on Life-Stage: came back to India , an old bird, flying back to its own 'root'and sette on River-side (GANGA) with a desire to roam about and know 'Bengal' my Mother-Land , more fully and whom I left behind at my uoung age and had never time to Know.
But to day and as a set-back I find that I can not travel even five miles without expecting a Political 'Bandh' or abrupt 'Strike' or Post-Accident RASTA-ROKO( Road Block) or a State-wide BUS /TAXI strike Or some weekly TRAIN STRIKE /Accidents.
And to Day, in West Bengal , I am a steal a blessed able and capabe Old man but bound by external limitations of ' Uncertainty Politics' , as I donot know when and where , suddenly ,i shall not be held up or wounded or even killed by some sudden Group-Bandh,hold-up, strike,Begal-Bandh, Rail-Strike or Rail accident and if I shall ever return Homr safe or in Coffin !
Next 37 years in DELHI,India,to Earn, build Family-life and live it.
Next 16 years in U.S.A in Post-Retirement Joy with grown- Up and settling -Children and crawling Grand- children along with Post-Retirement experience(world-wide) and learning Vedandta & cosmology.
Last Act on Life-Stage: came back to India , an old bird, flying back to its own 'root'and sette on River-side (GANGA) with a desire to roam about and know 'Bengal' my Mother-Land , more fully and whom I left behind at my uoung age and had never time to Know.
But to day and as a set-back I find that I can not travel even five miles without expecting a Political 'Bandh' or abrupt 'Strike' or Post-Accident RASTA-ROKO( Road Block) or a State-wide BUS /TAXI strike Or some weekly TRAIN STRIKE /Accidents.
And to Day, in West Bengal , I am a steal a blessed able and capabe Old man but bound by external limitations of ' Uncertainty Politics' , as I donot know when and where , suddenly ,i shall not be held up or wounded or even killed by some sudden Group-Bandh,hold-up, strike,Begal-Bandh, Rail-Strike or Rail accident and if I shall ever return Homr safe or in Coffin !
Monday, July 26, 2010
The CIRCLE
As a child and when aware
found myself in remotest of
a Bengal village life
Knew not sorrow as never measured
what I had and what I missed - but
the limitless gifts of child -hood joy
When was young found the city life
lived it and strugged and fought the way
Saw the famine saw communal kiling
and even lived through Global War
Then settled in larger capital living
built my life and retired, - when
in jet-pane speed I traveled through Space
to - 'Statue of Liberty' and our USA -Den.
Now ,the aged Bird has returned Home
to settle finally ,within the 'Inside-dome'.
found myself in remotest of
a Bengal village life
Knew not sorrow as never measured
what I had and what I missed - but
the limitless gifts of child -hood joy
When was young found the city life
lived it and strugged and fought the way
Saw the famine saw communal kiling
and even lived through Global War
Then settled in larger capital living
built my life and retired, - when
in jet-pane speed I traveled through Space
to - 'Statue of Liberty' and our USA -Den.
Now ,the aged Bird has returned Home
to settle finally ,within the 'Inside-dome'.
Monday, July 19, 2010
19 Th. July , 2010
TRAVELLING BY TRAIN
!9Th July -to day
Travelling by Train to day
to North bengal side -and
alone- a retired man.
My wife wanted to join me
pleaded and managed
to make her stay back this time .
She asked me with her moist look
'why I am left behind' ?
And with thoughtful smile - I said
" darling , if anything happens to the Train
and to me...in case -
You will receive that 'Rupees five lacs '
that I never had nor could ever save .
for you .
And she wept loud, - this time
I don't know why !
!9Th July -to day
Travelling by Train to day
to North bengal side -and
alone- a retired man.
My wife wanted to join me
pleaded and managed
to make her stay back this time .
She asked me with her moist look
'why I am left behind' ?
And with thoughtful smile - I said
" darling , if anything happens to the Train
and to me...in case -
You will receive that 'Rupees five lacs '
that I never had nor could ever save .
for you .
And she wept loud, - this time
I don't know why !
Saturday, July 17, 2010
SOME TIMES !
Some times
when we meet - and
you smile
to overwhem me - any how
on the backdrop of a stormy sky
within my drkening soul
I can see ;
as if can even feel
your smile - like the magic smile
of the sales-girl of the 'Mall'
or when on jet plane flight
the smartest beautiy serving me
offers me a look and smile - as if
the world and she was made forever
and only for me
Then I try
to measure your face and everything
with a floating sigh !
when we meet - and
you smile
to overwhem me - any how
on the backdrop of a stormy sky
within my drkening soul
I can see ;
as if can even feel
your smile - like the magic smile
of the sales-girl of the 'Mall'
or when on jet plane flight
the smartest beautiy serving me
offers me a look and smile - as if
the world and she was made forever
and only for me
Then I try
to measure your face and everything
with a floating sigh !
POETIC EXPERIENCE
In 1990s I wrote a poem in Bengali named "Mahakavya" (Epic Poem)" The essence of the poem was about life and feeling of all species of life .
The poem was published in my last book of poems - "Abbar phirey Elam" on 7Th December,2008 from Delhi.
________________________________________________________________
Long long back , Scientist J.C . Bose of India proved , scientifically, that plants are also living Organisms and they react to external stimuli .......
In my poetic soul , I felt so much pain seeing and experiencing the way the cruel/ignorant and insensitive Human Society cuts and clips the helpless trees or cuts flower or make flower bouquet with flowers and buds and present it to their lovers/friends or Political 'Masters or even the dead -Men for funeral. For last 12 years I refused to accept any flowers or bouquet to be brought or sent to my home.
And I name all people who pinches or cut flowers to please their beloved as 'Murderers'
And I name all people who pinches or cut flowers to please their beloved as 'Murderers'
_______________________________________________________________
On 16Th July, , 2010 in- T.O.I (Kolkata, India) , a Scientific publication of the Scientist Stanislaw Karpinski of War Shaw University now claims to have proof that all plants , like Human being have feelings and they experience pain and express their reaction.'''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''.
To me now , any one who clips or cut a flower (even to please a lover ) is a 'murderer'.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
FINAL PLAY
None better than this
for final game
this resting 'Nest' -where
The Ganges spread out in front
as if my child-hood joy
on my mothers lap !
The boat- men out
every morn
dreaming deep
with stretched-out net
for abundant fish
From window side
facing river wide
greeting rising Sun
counting playful waves
fill up (my) Time-space life
throughout the day.
Now , - the evening roof
invites me
to the crimson glow
of Sun-set time
and reminding me
of the departing song
I composed for - Life..
--------------
[composed now on 10 th July '10 )
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)